the awesome/terrifying freedom

it's amazing how domestically inclined i feel, in this, the golden era of my gayness. reading about the gay weddings, i feel that yes, it's something that i want. and having gone to several non-gay weddings in the past year, and having cried at every one of them, boy do i want to get married. to someone who wears the same size as me. because really i just want a bigger wardrobe and cheaper rent. and a roommate who i can boink. and all those presents. naw, i'm not so cynical. maybe what i want is that part of the struggle to be over - those 'going out to the bar hoping i'm hot enough for someone hot to want to go home with me and then hoping that maybe after we screw around there will be some infinitesimal chance that we'll have a conversation that reveals intelligence or skill beyond that required to extract an orgasm from the human male' struggles. i would much rather have the 'who's going to cook dinner tonight because i have to pick up your dry cleaning' struggles. and maybe it will be easier to pursue the bigger stuggles, the 'how the hell am i going to carve myself a career in the arts' struggles when the 'will somebody please do me? now?' struggles are over.

jasmine, aka 'i love my jazzy,' is gone, finally. tamyra and latoya should get together and form the 'robotic black female belter's club.' they could be merged into one super villan called lamyra that shatters your bones with stratospheric tones, ice cold personality, and (courtesy of tamyra) a 'tudey neck swivel. apparently tamyra wrote a bunch of the songs on her new album, and co-wrote the single that this year's 'winner' will sing. in yesterday's times, simon predicts that diana digarmo will win - and if the song is a belty ballad, there is a good chance that he's right. latoya says the song is called 'believe' and that she was able to write it because she's been where the finalists are now. um, well, not quite tamyra. girl needs to be reminded america liked nikki mckibbin a little bit better.