the awesome/terrifying freedom

out here, somewhere, figuring it all out.




boulder film fest


the schedule has been announced!

unfortunately we were moved from the friday night shorts to the sunday morning shorts. not the greatest time slot, but whatever. i'm just happy to be able to put up something besides being a body model for grand theft auto on imdb. i'm also very excited that john august will be running a screenwriting workshop just after the sunday shorts.. john.. i hear you need a new assistant...

get your tickets here!


illusion




went to the magritte exhibit at lacma this weekend. absolutely fantastic.





in a similar vein, on the way to work the other day, i passed a parking lot in which a film crew had built a false roof of a house, with a blue screen behind it. no idea what it could have been for..


sunset, and new year




i think it's time for a real new years post. i took this the other night before hitting the highway home. sometimes, the sunsets out here are just stunning.

what was my 2006? it was deep, deep discontent, depression, then resolve to create change. it was a drive across the country, and a leap into the unknown. it was learning to edit, getting accepted to a film festival, and washing dishes backstage at a cooking show. it was reconnecting with old friends, finding a new home, a boyfriend, new friends, and a creative job.

been thinking a lot about what i want to accomplish this year - been a bit conflicted about where i'm heading professionally. the truth is, i enjoy doing design work, and i've done it as a side business since my sophomore year in college. it feels truly great to really be doing it, like, not just "pretend" doing it - meeting with clients, working on the project, and sending them home happy. i've fallen into a job situation that is shaky, but holds the potential to develop into practically anything i can muster the energy to create, which, when it's not driving me crazy is pretty exciting.

and so i'm staying for the time being. i have a great assistant, edward, and we're working together to make the design wing of this business a success. it feels good to be busy, and once i get a little more settled into this situation, i intend to pile on the extra-curricular projects, as i always have.

in may, i'm taking the second level final cut classes, and in the fall, i will continue my acting education with the atlantic theatre company - finally offering their classes in LA!

i also just got a new baby - 17" macbook pro. it is a beautiful, beautiful thing. i'm very very poor once again, but this thing is so worth it. it will pay for itself in no time. it's so exciting to have a machine with enough capacity to actually hold movie files, as well as having the RAM to edit swiftly. it's a powerful, powerful tool.

february is gonna be a great month: going back to florida to see the opening of neal's play 'american western' at our grad acting program at UF. it's an amazing play, and i hope to direct a future production. then for a few days it's back to boulder for the boulder international film festival. my short is screening on friday, which is good - i get to relax and go to parties and films for the rest of the fest!

one of my goals for year is to direct another short film - with a full crew, and this time, in HD. i want it to be top quality.

i will also complete the adaptation of neal's play 'second' for film. it will be amazing. it will be our 'magnolia.'

my other goal is to continue to practice my biggest lessons of 2006:
freedom comes from confronting fear
start from where you're at, and any goal is achievable

i'm really excited about this year. i've settled into the landing, and am crouched and ready to spring back into action.


the awesome/terrifying cat episode


so on the morning of new year's eve, i went to celeste and chad's house because they asked me to feed their cats while they were away.

i went in through their back door, pushed it shut, and went into the other room to deal with litterbox stuff.

i heard the door creak from the wind. i turned around, and there were both cats, standing in the open doorway, looking at me as if to say 'who the fuck are you anyway? you're not our mom. see ya.'

a slow motion 'nooooo!' escaped my mouth as one cat ran back into the house, and the other darted out the door, around the corner, and out of sight.

is there anything, anything worse than losing (or killing) a best friend's pet? pets are children. i lost their child. i fucking lost their child. they will never forgive me.

it was an excruciating, guilt ridden day. how quickly and easily the order of our lives can be thrown into disarray. am i so fucking fragile? i reached celeste, who direfully informed me that she had never been out for longer than a couple minutes. every passing second, i had this vision of the city exponentially expanding, the places to hide multiplying, like zooming out in google earth, the camera pulling back further and further, any chance of recovery becoming more and more unlikely.

i was in a panic, walking up and down the street, calling for her, holding out food, shaking the food bag, shaking the food cup, putting up signs, interviewing the neighbors. finally, at celeste's suggestion, i had to give up, put the other cat in the bedroom with the door closed, and wait inside with food out and all the doors open, hoping she would decide to come home.

sam came over, comforted me, searched with me, and brought warm clothes so i could stay in the cold living room with the doors open all night if i had to. we were in the middle of a six feet under marathon, so we bundled up, ordered pizza, and popped the dvd in.

after a couple hours sam grabbed my arm. a cat was poking its head in the back door. the wrong cat. great. back to the show.

and like magic, eight hours after the start of the whole ordeal, she was suddenly standing there in front of the tv, looking at us, as if to say '...what??'

sam shouted 'back door! back door!' as he lept up and slammed the front door shut. the cat freaked out and hid under the couch as i slammed the back door. and like that, equilibrium was restored to the universe. what relief. goddamed cat ruined and saved my year all in one day.

btw: you get some seriously funny shit when you google 'evil cat'



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  • 5: the man of genius


  • 4: blunders & absurdities

  • 3: conservative after dinner

  • 2: what lies below

  • 1: where there is no path


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