out here, somewhere, figuring it all out.
you can just have that couch if you want it! it's not my couch. our neighbor put it out there and i don't know why. it's not my business. i'm not going to get involved in someone else's business. i'm just saying that you can have that couch if you want it. because it is going to get ruined when it rains this weekend, which it's supposed to do and i don't want to see it ruined. i don't understand it. why would they do something like that. that couch needs to go. it's just driving me crazy and it's gonna get ruined if you don't take it or do something with it. it's not my business. i'm not going to get involved in someone else's business.and with that she drove off. it's always impressive to me how people allow something that's not even remotely connected to them to utterly ruin their day. i also love when people exclaim that they're not going to get involved in someone else's business, like those who say 'i don't mean to be a bitch, but..' it's obvious that her true objection is that to her eye, it makes the neighborhood look cheap.
last friday i turned 28. twenty fuckin eight. and i sit behind a desk making less money than marissa who sits in the neighboring cubicle and who just turned 24. what the hell am i doing? am i just insane for trying to pursue something that will never, no matter how far or high i climb, be stable?
i guess i'm hitting that age where time suddenly seems to speed up, where the path of my life seems visible in the distance, where the choices seem to narrow, where it becomes more and more difficult to switch tracks. part of that is comforting - that i'm working with a theatre company, that i've achieved certain steps towards an acting career - but the sitting in a cubicle part doesn't sit well with me. how much longer can i do this? surely i possess more valuable skills? don't i? don't i?