the awesome/terrifying freedom

since announcing my film literacy project in late september, i've been steadily watching the history of film, in a roughly sequential order. my original list of 500-some movies gradually grew to a current list of 751. the original master list compiles the following lists:

• roger ebert's 'the great movies' (films added as he adds them to the list)
• richard maltin's top 100
• afi top 100
• imdb top 250 (i wanted popular films, not just critical successes)
• best picture oscar winners

the interesting thing that started to happen was that after watching a lot of silent films, i began to understand the language of silents and wanted to seek more out - so i'd go searching for another list that would add a few more silents, but would also pepper in other films throughout the list.

then after reaching the films of the 1940's, i started to realize that by now, adding in another list isn't really going expand it by much (there is a lot of overlap), so i added a few more in.

i wanted to see foreign film history unfold, so i added:

• all winners of the best foreign film oscar
• movieline's top 100 foreign films

i chanced on this list online, saw it had some new films in it, and added it to the list as well:

• totalfilm's most influential films

after adding these, i felt it was time to stop adding. if the list gets too big, i'll never get through the whole thing. i need to complete the list as is first, and then add into it afterwards. but then i realized a key list was missing:

• the 100 all time box office adjusted for ticket price inflation

this list added a fascinating new element: audience hits, but critical failures. no picture of the history of film can be complete without exploring that.

and so, 752 films. all data is kept on an excel spreadsheet, which was once online, but i'm working on updating the data (google docs incorrectly imports colored cells, which screws up my system for tracking what i've watched, so keeping the list up to date online has been a pain). in excel it's easy to scale your page to fit the screen. because i color-code the films i've seen, zooming way out shows you just how much of the 'bible' i've 'read.' here's the visualization in a strip:



the top of the strip is 1895 and the bottom is 2008. the blue area represents films that i've seen and the white is films i've yet to see. i've seen nearly all of the 162 film on the list before 1950 (which is that big block of blue at the top). the giant gap in my viewing is the period from 1950 to 1980. there are nearly 100 films in each decade, and i can't wait to see how history, american culture, and film technology evolve during that period. i can't wait until i can look at one giant, big blue block of seen films.

i feel like i'm done adding for now. i'm still not totally opposed to adding new lists, but a compelling argument must be made for how its inclusion would inform my reading of the other lists. but once i finish this project in its present form, i will probably seek to double the size of the list, adding in any esoteric collection i can possibly find.

i was asked by a friend to create an inspirational graphic using the word 'decide.' he'd been through a tough period and needed a zen-like reminder that just making a decision, while tough, feels a lot better than torturing yourself indefinitely.

so i put my photoshop skills to work and made this greeting card-ready image:



though my darker side gravitates to something more like this:

a couple weeks ago, someone put a couch out by the street in front of my apartment building. it's very comfy, and it faces the sun for a good part of the day, and it's within reach of my wireless signal. so until it inevitably gets picked up, i'll occasionally go outside with my laptop and work from the couch. it's a great way to get some sun while working from home.

just now this neighbor lady had a fit at me. while pulling out of her driveway, she yelled at me from her car:

you can just have that couch if you want it! it's not my couch. our neighbor put it out there and i don't know why. it's not my business. i'm not going to get involved in someone else's business. i'm just saying that you can have that couch if you want it. because it is going to get ruined when it rains this weekend, which it's supposed to do and i don't want to see it ruined. i don't understand it. why would they do something like that. that couch needs to go. it's just driving me crazy and it's gonna get ruined if you don't take it or do something with it. it's not my business. i'm not going to get involved in someone else's business.

and with that she drove off. it's always impressive to me how people allow something that's not even remotely connected to them to utterly ruin their day. i also love when people exclaim that they're not going to get involved in someone else's business, like those who say 'i don't mean to be a bitch, but..' it's obvious that her true objection is that to her eye, it makes the neighborhood look cheap.

maybe i should claim the couch and leave it out here.

in early previews and on the website, i was so impressed with the beautiful, 1920's font chosen for the film's title:



anxious to see the theatrical trailer, i gasped in horror as this god damned straight-to-video trajan version has replaced the exquisite, original treatment. wtf!?!?!?



for more on how much i hate trajan, look here and here and here and here and here.

i've compiled 4 'best of all time' lists, and reorganized them into chronological order. i'm going through and watching any movie i haven't seen (or any that i haven't seen since before college. it's amazing what you don't pick up in a movie before you've had sex or dealt with heatbreak and real jealousy).

the three lists i've used are eberts 'the great movies' list, leonard maltin's top 100, and afi's top 100. i was hoping to find more foreign film representation, but any other list i added just blew the project too far out of proportion. i'm starting with this and then will branch outwards from here. i'm not a big fan of maltin as a critic, but his all his post 1978 picks were all repeated in the other 2 lists, and since my main focus was to really get up to speed on older films, i dropped his choices in. he adds a lot of early comedies to the list, and some questionable choices. mary poppins? on your all time list? ..ok..

on top of all that, i popped in IMDBs's top 250 list, which is mostly current films that i've seen, but also adds in more popular favorites, hitchcocks and kubricks, more sci-fi and fantasy, and surprisingly, more foreign films.

i've watched 8 silent films since starting with 'birth of a nation,' and am now hitting the films of buster keaton. silent film is almost a completely separate art form from the current cinema, and i'm finding it rather intoxicating. if you're interested, my compiled list is below. i started with ebert's list, so his picks are in black. added to that are maltin's in blue, and afi in red. so it doesn't tell you what was on each list, only how each list compares to ebert's. with each of ebert's picks, there is an accompanying essay on his website, which puts the film in its historical context.

*for the sake of completion, i also dropped in all the best picture winners that were not already on the list. because no other list recognized them, they can pretty much be counted as the weakest offerings of the academy, but any historian should see all the winners. these appear in the list in purple.

if you'd like a copy of this list in excel format, shoot me an email.

ebert: black
+ maltin
+ afi
+ imdb top 250
+ oscar winners
i still haven't seen it: bold italic

• Cabiria (1914)
• The Birth of a Nation (1915)
• Intolerance (1916)
• Broken Blossoms (1919)
• Cabinet des Dr. Caligari., Das (1920)
• The Kid (1921)
• Nanook of the North (1922)
• Nosferatu (1922)
• Our Hospitality (1923)
• Safety Last (1923)
• Sherlock, Jr. (1924)
• The Last Laugh (1924)
• Greed (1925)
• The Battleship Potemkin (1925)
• The Big Parade (1925)
• The Freshman (1925)
• The Gold Rush (1925)
• The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
• Faust (1926)
• Metropolis (1926)
• The General (1927)
• Wings (1927)
  
• Pandora's Box (1928)
• Sunrise (1928)
• The Crowd (1928)
• The Fall of the House of Usher (1928)
• The Last Command (1928)
• The Man Who Laughs (1928)
• The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)
• Un Chien Andalou (1928)
• The Man with a Camera (1929)
• Broadway Melody, The (1929)
  
• All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
• City Lights (1931)
• Cimarron (1931)
  
• Dracula (1931)
• Frankenstein (1931)
• M (1931)
• Grand Hotel (1932)
  
• Trouble in Paradise (1932)
• Baby Face (1933)
• Cavalcade (1933)
  
• Duck Soup (1933)
• King Kong (1933)
• Sons of the Desert (1933)
• It Happened One Night (1934)
• It's a Gift (1934)
• L'Atalante (1934)
• The Scarlet Empress (1934)
• The Thin Man (1934)
• A Night at the Opera (1935)
• Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)
  
• Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
• The 39 Steps (1935)
• Top Hat (1935)
• Triumph of the Will (1935)
• Camille (1936)
• Dodsworth (1936)
• Great Ziegfeld, The (1936)
  
• Modern Times (1936)
• Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)
• My Man Godfrey (1936)
• Swing Time (1936)
• The Crime of Monsieur Lange (1936)
• Grand Illusion (1937)
• Life of Emile Zola, The (1937)
  
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
• The Awful Truth (1937)
• Olympia, Parts 1 and 2 (1938)
• You Can't Take It with You (1938)
  
• The Lady Vanishes (1938)
• Gone With the Wind (1939)
• Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
• Ninotchka (1939)
• Stagecoach (1939)
• The Adventures of Robin Hood (1939)
• The Rules of the Game (1939)
• The Wizard of Oz (1939)
• Fantasia (1940)
• His Girl Friday (1940)
• Pinocchio (1940)
• Rebecca (1940)
• The Bank Dick (1940)
• The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
• The Great Dictator (1940)
• The Philadelphia Story (1940)
• The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
• Citizen Kane (1941)
• How Green Was My Valley (1941)
  
• Sullivan's Travels (1941)
• The Lady Eve (1941)
• The Maltese Falcon (1941)
• Casablanca (1942)
• Cat People (1942)
• Mrs. Miniver (1942)
  
• Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
• The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943)
• Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
• The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
• Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
• Double Indemnity (1944)
• Going My Way (1944)
  
• Laura (1944)
• Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
• The Miracle of Morgan's Creek (1944)
• Brief Encounter (1945)
• Children of Paradise (1945)
• Detour (1945)
• The Lost Weekend (1945)
• Beauty and the Beast (1946)
• Great Expectations (1946)
• It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
• My Darling Clementine (1946)
• Notorious (1946)
• The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
• The Big Sleep (1946)
• Gentleman's Agreement (1947)
  
• Out of the Past (1947)
• Hamlet (1948)
  
• Red River (1948)
• Rope (1948)
• The Red Shoes (1948)
• The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
• Gun Crazy (1949)
• Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
• Orpheus (1949)
• The Bicycle Thief (1949)
• The Third Man (1949)
• All the King's Men (1949)
  
• White Heat (1949)
• All About Eve (1950)
• Harvey (1950)
• In a Lonely Place (1950)
• Rashomon (1950)
• Sunset Boulevard (1950)
• American in Paris, An (1951)
  
• A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
• Ace in the Hole (1951)
• Strangers on a Train (1951)
• The African Queen (1951)
• The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
• The River (Le Fleuve) (1951)
• Forbidden Games (1952)
• Greatest Show on Earth, The (1952)
  
• High Noon (1952)
• Ikiru (1952)
• Singin' in the Rain (1952)
• Umberto D (1952)
• Chuck Jones: Three Cartoons (1953-1957)
• From Here to Eternity (1953)
  
• Mr. Hulot's Holiday (1953)
• Roman Holiday (1953)
• Salaire de la peur, Le (Wages of Fear) (1953)
• Shane (1953)
• Stalag 17 (1953)
• The Band Wagon (1953)
• The Big Heat (1953)
• The Earrings of Madame de... (1953)
• Tokyo Story (1953)
• Ugetsu (1953)
• Beat the Devil (1954)
• Dial M for Murder (1954)
• Johnny Guitar (1954)
• On the Waterfront (1954)
• Rear Window (1954)
• Rififi (1954)
• Sansho the Bailiff (1954)
• Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
• Strada, La (1954)
• The Seven Samurai (1954)
• Touchez Pas au Grisbi (1954)
• Bob le Flambeur (1955)
• Diaboliques, Les (1955)
• Marty (1955)
  
• Ordet (1955)
• Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
• Smiles of a Summer Night (1955)
• The Apu Trilogy (1955, 1956, 1959)
• The Night of the Hunter (1955)
• Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)
  
• Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
• The Searchers (1956)
• Written on the Wind (1956)
• 12 Angry Men (1957)
• Nights of Cabiria (1957)
• Paths of Glory (1957)
• Pyaasa (1957)
• Smultronstället (Wlid Strawberries) (1957)
• The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
• The Seventh Seal (1957)
• The Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
• Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
• Gigi (1958)
  
• Mon Oncle (1958)
• The Music Room (1958)
• Touch of Evil (1958)
• Vertigo (1958)
• Floating Weeds (1959)
• Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
• Ben-Hur (1959)
• North by Northwest (1959)
• Pickpocket (1959)
• Some Like It Hot (1959)
• The 400 Blows (1959)
• The Apu Trilogy (1959)
• Breathless (1960)
• Inherit the Wind (1960)
• La Dolce Vita (1960)
• L'Avventura (1960)
• Peeping Tom (1960)
• Psycho (1960)
• Rocco and His Brothers (1960)
• Spartacus (1960)
• The Apartment (1960)
• Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
• Jules and Jim (1961)
• Last Year at Marienbad (1961)
• The Hustler (1961)
• Through a Glass Darkly (1961)
• Victim (1961)
• West Side Story (1961)
• Yojimbo (1961)
• Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
• The Exterminating Angel (1962)
• The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
• The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
• What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
• Winter Light (1962)
• 8 1/2 (1963)
• Charade (1963)
• My Life to Live / Vivre sa Vie (1963)
• The Great Escape (1963)
• The Leopard (1963)
• Tom Jones (1963)
  
• A Hard Day's Night (1964)
• Bande à part (1964)
• Dr. Strangelove (1964)
• Goldfinger (1964)
• Gospel According to St. Matthew (1964)
• Mary Poppins (1964)
• My Fair Lady (1964)
• Woman in the Dunes (1964)
• Chimes at Midnight (1965)
• Juliet of the Spirits (1965)
• Per qualche dollaro in più (A Few Dollars More) (1965)
• Sound of Music, The (1965)
  
• Au Hasard Balthazar (1966)
• Battaglia di Algeri, La (The Battle of Algiers) (1966)
• Blow-Up (1966)
• Closely Watched Trains (1966)
• Man for All Seasons, A (1966)
  
• Persona (1966)
• Belle de Jour (1967)
• Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
• Cool Hand Luke (1967)
• In Cold Blood (1967)
• In the Heat of the Night (1967)
• Le Samourai (1967)
• Mouchette (1967)
• Playtime (1967)
• Samurai Rebellion (1967)
• The Battle of Algiers (1967)
• The Graduate (1967)
• 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
• Oliver! (1968)
  
• Once upon a Time in the West (1968)
• Planet of the Apes (1968)
• Romeo and Juliet (1968)
• Rosemary's Baby (1968)
• The Firemen's Ball (1968)
• The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1968)
• The Producers (1968)
• Yellow Submarine (1968)
• Army of Shadows (1969)
• Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
• Easy Rider (1969)
• Midnight Cowboy (1969)
• The Wild Bunch (1969)
• El Topo (1970)
• Five Easy Pieces (1970)
• Patton (1970)
• Woodstock (1970)
• A Touch of Zen (1971)
• A Clockwork Orange (1971)
• French Connection, The (1971)
  
• McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)
• The Last Picture Show (1971)
• Walkabout (1971)
• WR -- Mysteries of the Organism (1971)
• Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972)
• Cries and Whispers (1972)
• Last Tango in Paris (1972)
• Late Spring (1972)
• Sleuth (1972)
• Solaris (1972)
• The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)
• The Godfather (1972)
• The Godfather, Part II (1974)
• Day for Night (1973)
• Mean Streets (1973)
• The Exorcist (1973)
• The Long Goodbye (1973)
• The Sting (1973)
• A Woman Under the Influence (1974)
• Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974)
• Amarcord (1974)
• Blazing Saddles (1974)
• Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
• Chinatown (1974)
• Don't Look Now (1974)
• The Conversation (1974)
• The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser (1974)
• Young Frankenstein (1974)
• Barry Lyndon (1975)
• Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
• Jaws (1975)
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
• Nashville (1975)
• Night Moves (1975)
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
• Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
• Network (1976)
• Rocky (1976)
• Taxi Driver (1976)
• 3 Women (1977)
• Annie Hall (1977)
• Killer of Sheep (1977)
• Saturday Night Fever (1977)
• Star Wars (1977)
• Stroszek (1977)
• Days of Heaven (1978)
• Gates of Heaven (1978)
• The Deer Hunter (1978)
• Alien (1979)
• Apocalypse Now (1979)
• Being There (1979)
• Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
  
• Life of Brian (1979)
• Manhattan (1979)
• Stalker (1979)
• The Marriage of Maria Braun (1979)
• Atlantic City (1980)
• Berlin Alexanderplatz (1980)
• Mon Oncle d'Amérique (1980)
• Raging Bull (1980)
• Ordinary People (1980)
  
• The Big Red One (1980)
• The Elephant Man (1980)
• The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
• The Shining (1980)
• Body Heat (1981)
• Boot, Das (1981)
• Chariots of Fire (1981)
  
• Mephisto (1981)
• My Dinner With Andre (1981)
• Pixote (1981)
• Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
• Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982)
• E.T. -- The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
• Fitzcarraldo (1982)
• Gandhi (1982)
• The Thing (1982)
• A Christmas Story (1983)
• El Norte (1983)
• Fanny and Alexander (1983)
• Return of the Jedi (1983)
• Scarface (1983)
• Terms of Endearment (1983)
  
• The Right Stuff (1983)
• A Sunday in the Country (1984)
• A Year of the Quiet Sun (1984)
• Amadeus (1984)
• Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
• Paris, Texas (1984)
• The Terminator (1984)
• This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
• Brazil (1985)
• Back to the Future (1985)
• Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985)
• Out of Africa (1985)
  
• Ran (1985)
• The Color Purple (1985)
• The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
• The Up Documentaries (1985)
• The Fly (1986)
• Aliens (1986)
• Platoon (1986)
• Stand by Me (1986)
• The Singing Detective (1986)
• Au Revoir, les Enfants (1987)
• Full Metal Jacket (1987)
• House of Games (1987)
• Last Emperor, The (1987)
  
• Moonstruck (1987)
• Nayakan (1987)
• Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)
• The Dead (1987)
• The Princess Bride (1987)
• Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
• Die Hard (1988)
• Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1988)
• The Decalogue (1988)
• Wings of Desire (1988)
• Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
• Do the Right Thing (1989)
• Rain Man (1988)
• Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
  
• Glory (1989)
• Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
• Santa Sangre (1989)
• Say Anything (1989)
• After Dark, My Sweet (1990)
• Dances with Wolves (1990)
  
• Miller's Crossing (1990)
• Raise the Red Lantern (1990101)
• GoodFellas (1991)
• JFK (1991)
• Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
• The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
• A Tale of Winter (1992)
• A Woman's Tale (1992)
• Howards End (1992)
• Reservoir Dogs (1992)
• Unforgiven (1992)
• Farewell My Concubine (1993)
• Groundhog Day (1993)
• Leolo (1993)
• My Neighbor Totoro (1993)
• Schindler's List (1993)
• The Age of Innocence (1993)
• The Blue Kite (1993)
• Three Colors Trilogy: Blue, White, Red (1993-1994)
• Chungking Express (1994)
• Crumb (1994)
• Drunken Master II (1994)
• Ed Wood (1994)
• Forrest Gump (1994)
• Hoop Dreams (1994)
• Léon (1994)
• Pulp Fiction (1994)
• The Lion King (1994)
• The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
• Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
• Braveheart (1995)
• Casino (1995)
• English Patient, The (1996)
  
• Haine, La (Hate) (1995)
• Heat (1995)
• Se7en (1995)
• The Usual Suspects (1995)
• Toy Story (1995)
• Twelve Monkeys (1995)
• Ulysses' Gaze (1995)
• Fargo (1996)
• Trainspotting (1996)
• L.A. Confidential (1997)
• Titanic (1997)
  
• Mononoke-hime (Princess Mononoke)(1997)
• Vita è bella, La (Life is Beautiful) (1997)
• American History X (1998)
• Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
• Lola rennt (Run Lola Run) (1998)
• Saving Private Ryan (1998)
• Shakespeare in Love (1998)
  
• The Big Lebowski (1998)
• American Beauty (1999)
• Fight Club (1999)
• Magnolia (1999)
• The Green Mile (1999)
• The Matrix (1999)
• The Sixth Sense (1999)
• Amores perros (2000)
• Gladiator (2000)
• Memento (2000)
• Requiem for a Dream (2000)
• Snatch. (2000)
• The Terrorist (2000)
• Werckmeister Harmonies (2000)
• Wo hu cang long (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) (2000)
• Beautiful Mind, A (2001)
  
• Kandahar (2001)
• Donnie Darko (2001)
• Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (Amelie) (2001)
• Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (Spirited Away) (2001)
• The Lord of the Rings (2001–03)
• Chicago (2002)
  
• City of God (2002)
• Mou gaan dou (Infernal Affairs) (2002)
• Ripley's Game (2002)
• Talk to Her (2002)
• Finding Nemo (2003)
• Big Fish (2003)
• Finding Nemo (2003)
• Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
• Le Boucher / The Butcher (2003)
• Mystic River (2003)
• Oldboy (2003)
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
• The Pianist (2002)
• Crash (2004/I)
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
• Hauru no ugoku shiro (Howl's Moving Castle) (2004)
• Hotel Rwanda (2004)
• Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
• Million Dollar Baby (2004)
• Shaun of the Dead (2004)
• The Incredibles (2004)
• Untergang, Der (Downfall) (2004)
• Dark City (2005)
• Batman Begins (2005)
• Sin City (2005)
• V for Vendetta (2005)
• Babel (2006)
• Children of Men (2006)
• Laberinto del fauno, El (Pan's Labyrinth) (2006)
• Leben der Anderen, Das (The Lives of Others) (2006)
• Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)
• Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
• Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
• The Departed (2006)
• The Prestige (2006)
• Moolaade (2007)
• Into the Wild (2007)
• No Country for Old Men (2007)
• Ratatouille (2007)
• Scaphandre et le papillon, Le (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) (2007)
• The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
• There Will Be Blood (2007)
• Diva (2008)
• In Bruges (2008)
• Iron Man (2008)
• The Dark Knight (2008)
• Vengeance Is Mine (2008)
• WALL·E (2008)

i've got a long long way to go. and what's sobering is the knowledge that this is only the beginning of any real attempt to become literate in the world of film. but it's a good place to start, and watching them in order, i'm looking forward to seeing the history of film, the advancement of technology, and the shifting tastes of the audience play out before me.

i'm really starting to get into 'true blood.' the characters are deepening, and unlike other HBO shows (carnivale, deadwood, john from cincinatti..) 'true blood' shares the strength of 'six feet under' in that it's able to tell its story with genuine humor. one of my favorite characters is tara, who could easily come off as a complete bitch in her first couple scenes. it's a huge actor trap, and here's the original actress, brooke kerr, playing tara's first scene:



it feels like a scene from a 'bring it on,' straight to dvd sequel. now watch rutina wesley do the same scene, with the same scene partners, even:



it reminds me of sitting through auditions, listening to the same sides over and over again, and then suddenly someone walks in who just nails the thing because they're being completely themselves while they do it. it's like night and day.

god it must suck to recast, though. lots of people have to admit they were wrong, great expense is taken to reshoot, and an actor counting on a steady paycheck is suddenly out of a job. john august showed us some realities of this in 'the nines.'

took pics of my good friend buddy this weekend. he's been in town with the national tour of 'my fair lady.' full flickr set from the shoot here.

my friend jase in new york sent me this picture.



it's said that the art of sculpture is in uncovering the masterpiece that already exists within the marble.
if that's so, then the art of tchotchke is in taking something that has the potential to be cool and burying it in disturbingly misguided details.

this is a truly sublime atrocity. i don't think it's quite the right scale either, though i'm sure the 'artist' was really dead-set on depicting mike right at penis-level for this portrait. i wonder, does this little statuette fly off the shelves of hatch's gift store across the country? if someone had this sitting on their fireplace mantle, would you run?

you could say that this little piece is a tribute to michaelangelo's achievement. but, uh, isn't that what the statue -itself- is?

i think the only person who would buy this is, mickey, valerie cherish's makeup artist on 'the comeback.'

honestly, where paris is concerned, nothing will ever, ever beat emily's commando in action paris for men. but that didn't stop me from trying. i combed that city up and down looking for that horrible je ne sais quois. friends were bringing me tacky shit left and right, but i turned it all away. no, the perfect tacky gift has to work on multiple levels. it has to say something both about the character of the city, and the character of the tourists they hope to sucker into buying their crap. like finding clothes that fit at filene's basement, it takes perseverance.

which brings us to my paris entry in the international competition. behold. relive the glory of aristocratic france.









previous tackiest gifts in the world:
las vegas stripper bottle opener
commando in action paris for men
the horny hillbilly
airbrushed overalls w/ baby white tiger tshirt

here's the problem with 'vote you off' reality shows, specifically, project runway.

the truly innovative contestants get voted off because they're willing to take risks, and those risks aren't always going to pan out. so you may be a genius, but part of what makes you that genius is that you allow yourself to be truly horrible sometimes. and so we usually come to a finale that is between the 2 or 3 contestants that were able to hide in the background the longest.

i'd love to see a show that votes out the middle, and keeps the top and bottom scores. imagine the risks it would encourage people to make, the audacity it would inspire!

laura asked me if i had a top ten list for '07.. i've never really done it before because i've rarely felt like i've seen enough films. but i figured i should go through and look at all the 07' films i saw, and see how they stack up. so here's all the major released films and my star rating (out of 5) to go with it:

5 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 days
5 The Lives Of Others (technically '06, but wide released last year)
5 Ratatouille
5 No Country For Old Men
5 There Will Be Blood
4.5 Zodiac
4 The Host
4 Grindhouse
4 Hairspray
4 The Bourne Ultimatum
4 Atonement
3.5 300
3.5 Journey From The Fall
3.5 Knocked Up
3.5 3:10 To Yuma
3.5 Juno
3.5 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street
3 Breach
3 Waitress
3 Ocean's Thirteen
3 The Method (El Método)
3 Stardust
3 Across The Universe
3 Beowulf
3 Enchanted
3 I Am Legend
3 The Kite Runner
2.5 Reno 911!: Miami
2.5 Blades Of Glory
2.5 Spider-man 3
2.5 Day Watch (Dnevnoi Dozor)
2.5 Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix
2.5 Lions For Lambs
2 The Good German
2 The Astronaut Farmer
2 Disturbia
2 Shrek The Third
2 Pirates Of The Caribbean: At Worlds End
2 Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer
2 Transformers

here. and by association, here.

happy new year!

some things from the last few months:

• in november, my grandfather on my father's side passed away. which has had me, my parents and family thinking a lot about life, death, etc.

• i directed a few more episodes of the tv show i work on. i'm getting better, but still have a lot to learn. celeste said to me after one particularly grueling shoot, "stop apologizing. you apologized to every single person on set today at least once, and some people you apologized to all throughout the day. you get paid less than anyone else working on the show, and you have the most responsibility. you don't have anything to apologize for."

• my first instinct while writing another blog entry was to apologize for not having written anything for so long.

• at brunch with neal recently, we were talking about goals, and what we want in life, and i found myself stammering "well, say that, what if, if i were to, what would be the possibility, i mean, what if i said.." i was having so much trouble speaking words that were so clear in my head. what i wanted to say was "is it possible for me to be directing a network show in 5 years?" and once i finally got the words out i realized why it had been so hard to say. because saying it out loud, in front of someone, makes you responsible for it. as soon as the words finally escaped my lips, a flood of all the things i would need to do to make it happen filled my brain. it means working on a reel, it means directing as much as i possibly can in the next five years. it means winning awards at festivals, not just getting into them. it means i have to stop talking and start doing. am i willing to take on that work? can i handle it? boy, it had really better be what i want, hadn't it? so there it is, the goal, or at least one of them. i want to direct a network show in 5 years. i want to be directing features in 10 years, but we can deal with that later.

• overall it was a damn good year. i landed a great job that had me writing, directing, organizing and managing shoots. it also saw my two short films play in seven festivals across the country. i have plans to shoot at least 3 more shorts next year, which will have sharper scripts, better production values, and even more potential to help shuffle my career along (that's the plan anyway).

• i went to a lot of weddings. seeing all my friends make the decision to have families has really begun to put the sting into my singlehood. but more than that - it's solidified my desire to get married myself. but yeah, probably need to, like, date someone first. this is the year.

• i will be starting a new blog, for lost-related recaps, analyses, theories, etc! i have plenty to write about already with these, this, and this already leading us into season 4. it's in its infancy now, but many links and goodies will be added as the show progresses.

• this new year also seems to call for a change in the look and focus of my blog, so look for that coming soon too.

• thanks to all the friends who helped me achieve everything that happened in the past year. it never ceases to amaze me how just a few great connections can open so many possibilities. can't wait to see what this next year will provide.

these two are a pair, so i redid #5 to match my reading of #6. plus, i'm prety unhapy with my original reading of 5. i'm much better at being honest in a manic way than in a still, quiet way. need to keep working on that.

sam took me out to dinner for my birthday at the hump, where we were served an amazing 8 course japanese meal. the piece de resistance was the lobster. lobster sashimi was served in the shell of the tail, and next to that was charlie's entire upper half, still alive, legs and antennae still moving, watching us snack on his raw tail. sam was a little disturbed. i thought it was super cool.

i thought i'd take a look at years past.

28
29
30
31

wow, i've been blogging for a long time. thirty-one was a great, unpredictable, mind-blowing year. here's what i wrote at 28:

last friday i turned 28. twenty fuckin eight. and i sit behind a desk making less money than marissa who sits in the neighboring cubicle and who just turned 24. what the hell am i doing? am i just insane for trying to pursue something that will never, no matter how far or high i climb, be stable?

i guess i'm hitting that age where time suddenly seems to speed up, where the path of my life seems visible in the distance, where the choices seem to narrow, where it becomes more and more difficult to switch tracks. part of that is comforting - that i'm working with a theatre company, that i've achieved certain steps towards an acting career - but the sitting in a cubicle part doesn't sit well with me. how much longer can i do this? surely i possess more valuable skills? don't i? don't i?

i have to keep reminding myself never to allow things to progress to the point where i am this unhappy ever again.

those photos at 29 were taken in the hole in the wall office of the hole in the wall theatre i used to work at (in addition to my full time job) in nyc. dana and mike were nice enough to come by during my hours and bring a little cake. at that point, i was coasting, and on the downslope. that entire year would be frought with disappointment, idleness, and frustration. and then six feet under would end, i would turn 30, and a new path would finally become clear.

32 rivaled 30 in terms of birthday noteriety. 30 saw my first trip to la, and my first tattoo. 32 saw my first trip to paris, and my best friend's wedding. this past year has also been defined by film festivals, an amazing boyfriend who became a best friend, roommates who've become best (& better) friends, two creative jobs, and the return of possibility, potential and positivity (god, i sound like tony robbins now) to my life. had a lovely party saturday night, where i served an assortment of french cheeses i bought at the paris airport. neal also got me this awesome gift:



it was damn good. here's to keeping 32 on the upswing..

the weekend was too emotional to blog about with any sense of justice. so, here's my favorite photos.

all the americans stayed at 'the gite' in pont de pany, just outside of dijon






on friday night - a crepes party, where we met max and anne's extended family, and where all of max's american friends convened.





the next morning was the wedding. first, the civil ceremony, which was lighthearted and informal (even though it was presided over by a very official looking guy).






after the civil service, the wedding party filed into the street, congratulations all around, then walked into a sunlit courtyard for photos.







and then we walked down 'rue de la chouette,' to the church. along the way, we would touch the magical owl (la chouette), carved into the side of the church, and make a wish. (don't look at the owl while making your wish, however)

we approached the street, then turned to the left, and there was the church, which had been completely hidden from view. i had to stop and catch my breath.







the guests filed into the church. max and anne hung out outside, waiting to process in..






and it was time to enter..







max's sister christy sang a beautiful song from 'the baker's wife.'




sadly, the light was too low to take any good closeups. i wasn't about to start firing the flash. max had trouble getting through the vows, he was so choked up. everyone was. it was honest, heartfelt, and beautiful.



see the full set of photos here.

trevor had a great idea: lets make photoshopped pics of our decapitated heads on the spot where marie antoinette and louis lost theirs!

the subway is pretty much the same as new york's. really, it's like the west village and soho exploded into an entire city, except with actual history.

the view from max's balcony:




from two days of wandering..

so, "thanksgiving" has just been selected to play at the long island gay and lesbian film festival! depending on imminent developments, i may not be able to make it, which is a shame. i've yet to see my baby play a festival. i would love to go to this one, and see nyc again.

here's the screening history for "thanksgiving:"

July 2007 Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Fesival
August 2007 Outflix Film Festival: Memphis
October 2007 Long Beach Q Festival
November 2007 Long Island Gay & Lesbian Film Festival

john august had a trailer-cutting competition using footage from his new film, "the nines." i worked all day sunday and all night monday to finish my entry in time, and received an honorable mention on his site for "best tic-tac-toe" hahahaha. which is great because that damn tic-tac-toe (i think of it more as a sudoku) was the only original thing about my entry, and 80% of my editing time was spent making it. check it out:



in other news, i am currently in negotiations with a small, independent production company to develop, produce, and direct 4 or 5 ten-minute gay-themed comedy shorts that will be bundled with a gay travelogue dvd. this is amazing. i would get paid to direct a series of narrative stories, it's immediate work for neal, my playwright-now-turned-screenwriter-who-just-moved-here, and the experience will be invaluable.

the permanence of film is astonishing. all the years, all the work i put into theatre is completely ephemeral. of course the experience was important, but all i can show is some reviews and some photos, and really, it's only agents and managers who take the time to physically come see the show who might recognize your talent and help you step up to the next level. but with film, the work exists and can be examined by anyone at any point. i've done tons of video projects, but only two "real" short films, and in the last year, they have both proven to have lives far beyond when i felt i was "done" with them. i realize now, that the "done" feeling is a symptom of theatre.

"loaded" played 2 major festivals and has made waves among the magicians circuit, having played every major magic convention in the country, and has probably been seen on youtube by every professional magician. i'm currently working with my dad on another magician-themed concept. "thanksgiving" is still popping up at festivals, playing its third on october 13th, at the long beach q festival.

i met these producers at a premiere, we hit it off, had a great conversation, and eight months later, called me up for a meeting, wanting to license "thanksgiving" and "loaded" for streaming on a pay-per-view web video service they are working on. the deal was placed on hold, in favor of this new opportunity, that would have me creating new content specifically for them, with distribution already in place. i don't want to count chickens before they hatch, but at this point in my career, even the possibility of this opportunity is exciting to me. if it falls through, i will learn how to make it sail next time.

my friend and future business partner, celeste, was an assistant to one of the producers on forest whitaker's new movie, which just finished shooting. celeste got me into the wrap party, which was held last night at the roosevelt hotel. i'm familiar with the roosevelt only because my previous boss bought out all the rooms around the swimming pool for his birthday party weekend and then called me from said party drunk and high to tell me how much he loved me.

so, i was looking forward to seeing this poolside area. also i was pretty excited to be hobnobbing with a-listers, and maybe get a taste of what it feels like to be one of them. the night was warm, palm trees pointed to the stars, we all looked like superstars, the bar was open, gourmet food was passed around, and life was good. and "there's justin timberlake, just over there, sitting at that couch, no joe, that couch over there, chatting with the group of people who came in just behind us. he's dating jessica biel, don't you know? she's in the movie too. that why he's here."

and i thought, how does this happen? where does all this money come from? how is this life possible? how the hell did these people get here? how do i get to do what they do? is there a future in which a party like this is held for a movie that i direct?

and i'm introduced to people and i tell them what i do, and i think i'm almost convincing in my new attempts to not sound apologetic when i say it. and i ask what they do, and they say things like 'i was the second second.' and there's two ways i can respond to something like that: i can either maintain the illusion that i "belong amongst them," nod my head enthusiastically and say "wow! what a great opportunity for you, that's fantastic," or i can be open and honest, and reveal that i'm a complete idiot newbie in this world by admitting that i have no clue what a "second second" does.

i chose option a. it maintained an illusion, sure, but it removed the possibility of having any real conversation, hindered genuine connection, and kept me from learning something new, something that might help me find answers to the myriad questions floating through my mind as i stared over at the beautiful people silhouetted by pool-light. i would pay the karmic price for this transgression later.

i met celeste's friend derek, who starred in the film 'boy culture,' which was directed by allan brocka, who i admire greatly and who's career i hope to emulate. "i should say something," i thought, "i should use my knowledge of his work to try and make some real connection." i couldn't muster the courage. i'm a quiet guy by default. fighting that impulse usually pays off, but it takes considerable effort and i'm physically tired by the end of it.

as the party wound down, it shifted from an exclusive gathering of creatives to an assault of manufactured breasts, loosely draped in synthetic fabric. ah, the other side of hollywood was encroaching, and it was time to leave.

i stood next to a group of tan breasts and legs, all waiting for the valet to pull up with our cars. lexus after lexus, luxury sports car after luxury suv. i had tried on every shirt in my closet before settling on this outfit, and none of it would matter when the most crucial piece of my los angeles wardrobe would reveal everything about me. the valet sheepishly pulled my car in, over to the side, as if already apologizing to the waiting crowd. there was laughter from the boobs, and an exclamation from a guy inside the boob cluster: "who valeted that piece of shit?"

and that was my moment to step from the crowd and claim little r2d2, as my piece of shit. justin, my old boss, bought a new car every 2 months, and now i see why. to him, it was as much an accessory as shoes. it had to be current, and it had to look good puling up in front of everyone, post-party. i drove off, thankful to have had a little taste of the future, with an extra helping of humility.

i've never really read the sonnets before, and now that i'm learning them from the beginning, they are raising all kinds of interesting questions.

the first 17 sonnets are what are known as 'the procreation sonnets,' in which shakespeare (or, 'the poet,' as there is much debate over whether the sonnets are creations to be spoken by a fictional character, or true love poems to shakespeare's acquaintances) is speaking to a guy of unfathomable beauty, and encouraging him to have a kid. whoever this guy is, he is very into himself (sonnet 4 makes a not so veiled reference to masturbation), and shakespeare seems just as into him.



it's fascinating to use these poems to try and reconstruct (or at least peek at) the sexual politics of the time. without cultural boundaries set, without 'gay' as an 'identity,' how would homosexuality express itself in shakespeare's time? is shakespeare gay because he writes so unabashedly of a man's beauty? is the subject of the early sonnets gay because he shows no interest in women? what exactly is the relationship between them? how would either of these guys identify in the modern world? certainly in the underground world of the theatre, love between men was expressed, and certainly many gay men found refuge in playing female roles on and off stage. but not having 'gay' as an identity seems both freeing and constricting. freeing in that there are no boundaries - love and attraction for a man can be expressed without suspicion, and without compromising masculinity. though, it doesn't seem worth that freedom if you must live knowing that you are somehow different, but don't have the words or societal permission to truly express it.

what's most intriguing are the arguments shakespeare lays out to this young man. he serenades the guy with the same gusto that he would use on a potential lover, but doesn't express any desire to be with him. instead, all that effort is to encourage the guy to find a woman (any old woman seems to be sufficient) and have a kid asap, so that the genetic perfection in this guy will continue on.

i've only learned through sonnet 4, but am looking forward to being able to perform all 17 of the procreation sonnets in one big, "have a baby now, you hottie" monologue.

i'm so sorry i couldn't be there for you, guys, and if you'd just told me that leaving might be he cleave that separates you once and for all, i might have stayed. but now that you're done, boerum hill just seems a little less special.

gawker: Boerum Hill Comes To Terms With Heathchelle Split

here is a previous post about my one encounter with the troubled couple: my brush with heathness.

like the restaurant battle in 'kill bill,' this sequence from 'bourne ultimatum' is pure, virtuoso filmmaking. i've watched this fist fight over and over again, trying to figure out the sheer number of setups in the sequence.



acclaimed editor, and editing theorist walter murch says that if you cut between more than 14 setups per minute, the audience starts to go crazy. i don't have a solid count on this sequence, but there are way more than 14 setups. i think the key is in the way one setup is cut into the next: what used to be regarded as ugly jump cuts are now commonplace. it is acceptable to cut between two angles that are close together. murch's theory comes from old school visual vocabulary where cuts must happen between contrasting angles: 14 of these in one minute would make your head spin, but in this case the myriad of setups are all close together, and the cutting happens between similar angles, not contrasting ones. each cut flows with the action, and though the cuts and the camerawork are frenetic, the movement of the scene is crystal clear because of the sharpness of the sound effects editing.

it's brimming with the excitement of something new, which means there will be many imitators.. so look forward to a lot of badly done shakycam and jump cut editing in the near future. meanwhile, greengrass' editor should be nominated for another oscar.

btw: if you're going to see 'ultimatum,' i reccomend you re-watch 'supremacy.' 'ultimatum' fits into it like a jigsaw puzzle piece - a revelation that blew me away with its storytelling audacity, and unwillingness to pander to the audience.

and so, the new haiku year comes to a close. laura and i wrote a three line poem for the last 365 days. we had done the exercise once before, during a year that encompassed leaving grad school and moving to new york, so it felt appropriate to reinstate it for this year of similar changes.

the first time around, i remember both of us felt great relief that the project was over, but this time i've been dreading the end for months now. not only was it a great creative exercise, but it has become the primary source of communication between myself and laura, as we lead our incredibly different lives.

so we've decided to continue it indefinitely. perhaps one day we'll both tire of it and agree to end it, but i somehow doubt it. it's an important chronicle, a journal that's easy to keep, and a reminder of where we've been. plus, at the end of it all, we will have the most amazing book.

i've also begun another project, for myself. i've decided that i'm going to learn all of shakespeare's sonnets, and record a short video of me performing each one. it will probably take years and years to complete all 154, which is exciting in itself.



will my acting improve by the end of it? how much older will i look? how much wiser will i be? so far i've done three. and i'm not cheating either. i have to know each sonnet cold. no cue cards or hints (i tried it, and you can see my eyes reading. it looks awful.) i set up a separate youtube account just for these videos. subscribe!

last weekend the roommates and i embarked on an amazing trip into the past.

first we watched the film 'space camp,' which definitively nails the 'kate capshaw is a terrible terrible actress' coffin shut. it's obvious that the only thing spielberg saw in her was.. himself. the film is fascinating to watch for several reasons: 1) it had such a profound impact on me as a boy. 2) lea thompson, kelly preston, joaquin phoenix, and tate donovan all got their start on it, and 3) terry o'quinn (locke on 'lost') has three lines, and hair.

the plot is so amazingly stupid, the acting is atrocious, and yet it taps into a childhood fascination with outer space in a way that still makes it (just barely) watchable.

take a trip back to 1986, with this amazing set of trailers, including one for 'space camp.'



the second wave of 'return to boyhood 2007' consisted of a jaunt to california's 'legoland,' yes, a theme park based entirely on plastic bricks.



last year i got david a ticket for his birthday because our early friendship (we were 6 years old), like the park, was based entirely on plastic bricks.

the target demographic for legoland is kids aged 5-12. i don't recommend it unless you possess the capability to truly regress yourself down to that age. fortunately, for the three of us, this was no problem at all. we spent a good portion of the day programming lego robots to pick up lego asteroids and lego astronauts.



the highlight though, was the scale reconstructions of entire cities in lego - including new orleans' bourbon street, which faithfully depicts the first gay bar i ever went to. how cool is that?



also in legos: the bethesda fountain!



i bought myself a lego artoo-detoo keychain, and a set from the new, totally awesome, anime inspired exo-force collection.





on the way home we had dinner in laguna beach. the people were disturbingly pulled from jcrew catalogs and reality shows, but the sunset on the beach was so beautiful.

so i've come to yet another realization: perfectionism is a curse.
it's also a beautiful thing, yes, but it's mostly a curse.

the perfectionist goes to see a movie, the movie sucks. the perfectionist is shocked that such talentless people are actually working: talentless writer, talentless director, talentless actors. how the hell is this stuff getting made? why, the perfectionist asks, am i not working in the same field? i am at least as good as they are, hell i'm better!

and the reason is because the perfectionist has a petrifying fear of failure. rather than be less than perfect, the perfectionist attempts nothing, does nothing, and in doing so, never learns, never grows. perhaps the petrified perfectionist's only developed skill is that of criticism. and that skill, being so honed, frightens the perfectionist even more, because should they put work out into the world, that work would be dissected by others with the same fine scalpel they gleefully used to cut with themselves.

i've been here almost a year now. i think it's nearly time to take another big risk. one that would have me land flat on my face, but one that would have me put work out into the world, face the firing squad, get better, learn, and grow.

thanksgiving has been accepted to the long beach q film festival! (unfortunately, i will be in paris for my friend max's wedding when it screens in october.)

my dad's short screenplay, adobo, has been selected by the boulder asian film festival to be produced, and i will be directing it! they are looking to start production soon, so, uh, i guess i'll be flying out to boulder at some point. yikes!

an awesome/terrifying thought occurred to me this week: that as a kid, most of the cool things i dreamt about doing when i "grew up" are now being done by people around my age. it's terrifying in that it really puts boot to ass in the "make something of yourself" category, and it's awesome in that it says "not only is it possible for you to do this, but the time is now."

i had to face a lot of fears these past two weeks - last week a shoot was scheduled for the tv show on wednesday. monday, my boss' wife had a baby, completely removing him from the picture, which meant that wednesday's shoot would have to be directed by.. me. my first time directing a full day of shooting, with a full crew, and without my boss to fall back on. awesome/terrifying.

then monday afternoon the shoot fell apart, first on a crew level, then the participants backed out, and we lost the location. i had 2 days, with no boss, and limited resources to pull it together from scratch. i had to go into action mode, must have made 100 phone calls, couldn't sleep, had to push the shoot to thursday, but by tuesday afternoon had participants, a location, crew, and it looked like this new version of the episode would end up being better than the one originally planned.

by the time i actually arrived on set thursday morning, my original fear of directing it had been obliterated by having worked like crazy to make sure that there even was a shoot.

i felt so much joy that day for a variety of reasons: just working with the cinematographer to plan out the shots, using the lingo unselfconsciously (finally!), making the little finger gestures to indicate to the camera operators if they should pan, tilt, or zoom, asking the PA to do the tasks i had been doing only 2 months ago. there is great freedom in admitting how much i don't know yet. i didn't know which was the key light. i didn't know what a stinger was. or a hot stab. i'm still learning the technical aspects, but there was a great feeling in realizing just how much i did know. i knew exactly how a shot was being used and why we needed it. i knew we needed to re-do something because it wouldn't cut together right. i knew which pieces of information needed to be brought forward.

the day you know you're no longer a tourist in new york, is when you get asked for directions and know the answer without thinking (the day you're a native is the day you deliberately give wrong directions). i'm not a native on set, but i'm also no longer a tourist. of course, some mistakes were made, but it's the only way to learn to get better, and i'm looking forward to future shoots.

so my little big gay film is now out there in the world. unfortunately, i don't know anyone who attended the screening, so i have no idea how it went over, but someone did post a lovely review on the festival website. maybe more responses will trickle in over time.

if you'd like to see thanksgiving, here is a link to the beautiful quicktime version, and here is the link to the cheap and skanky youtube version. enjoy!

i gotta say i'm pretty impressed with the soundtrack to the upcoming hairspray movie (nikki blonski sings far better than winokur), which has reignited my obsession with listening to 'you can't stop the beat.'

and then i got sucked into a youtube hole, looking for clips, and finding the most dreadful high school show choir/drama camp renditions ever put down on digital media. they are so bad they're good. they're so bad i can't stop watching. you must share my pain/joy. these are just too glamtastrophic to be missed. some of them are truly horrifying, but others have an infectious energy behind them that supercedes the amateurishness.

this choreographer bravely allows the cast to do a little freeform movement in between rigid sections of step-touch, step-touch.


i actually really like this one from the sullivan high school singers. they are one of the only renditions to achieve actual performance energy without copying jerry mitchell's choreography.


this one is staggeringly good. also, there's staggering. i love how when they sing 'you can try stop my dancin' feet but i just cannot stand still,' they're, uh, standing still. my favorite parts: back handspring girl at the beginning, and the gay boy in the front who's just a little too good at some of those moves.


i think this one is from the basement of a church. it's hard to knock when they're having so much fun with mitchell's choreography.


jazz hands! .. jazz hands! ..jazz hands!


this one wants to be on america's funniest home videos, except it's missing the part at the end where the stage falls apart from under them. also gunning for the 'most people dancing in the smallest space' award. it's like the roxy on a saturday night.


these kids are lip-synching and doing the original staging, but they have such a great time, and i love the asian seaweed. no black kids at drama camp, so the most vaguely ethic person gets cast in the black role. love it.


kids. kids are cute.

so i saw 2 movies this week: ratatouille and transformers.

one was filet mignon, served on fine china. the other was a turd rolled in staples, served on a hubcap.

and it occurred to me, watching transformers, which has absolutely no characters in it at all, that there are two major problems.

problem 1: michael bay doesn't understand the meaning of character. he thinks he does, but he doesn't.

bay confuses character with "assigning quirks." he believes that if you give each person an odd, memorable moment, you've succeeded in fleshing out their "character."

which makes me think of what mamet says about character. i'm paraphrasing: "when we say that our grandfather 'had character,' we are not referring to the way he held his pipe. we are referring to his tenacity of spirit."

character is revealed when we watch someone, faced with a problem, try to solve it. every single comic moment in ratatouille is engendered from the clash of all the character's honest pursuit of their goals. no one is given "quirks." some of them have quirks, but it's because the storyteller has deemed them crucial for us to know of in order to follow the story's path.

the list of quirks handed out to characters in transformers is endless and arbitrary. all are interchangeable. perhaps they were picked out of a hat.

• one has a dog in a cast who eats pain pills
• three have embarrassing moms
  
• one likes to speak spanish for no reason
• two are black and yell at women
• one has an often mispronounced last name (the exact same gag attempted in godzilla)
• several have a funny accents
• one has boobs and is a mechanic (a skill which is stated, but never used)
• it goes on and on..

of course, these traits exist in characters from good films, but the difference is that they happen to reveal these things through action, not not not, most absolutely not through straight exposition, for the sake of characterization.

i've heard the argument from defenders of transformers many times: it's just a popcorn movie! it's not supposed to be good! i don't understand why this film, which isn't any better than the broderick godzilla, has gotten a free pass. i am not expecting schindler's list, but what i am expecting is a movie that knows what it wants to accomplish, that has a clear, simple story, and is well told. i don't think it's unreasonable to have expected transformers to be as enjoyable as jurassic park, or hell, even jurrassic park 3.

problem 2: the action sequence. watch the 9 minute teaser from ratatouille. remy falls into the kitchen and must escape. what follows is an action sequence of his hugely elaborate attempt to get out, during which we never once lose track of what his plan is, how well he is doing, how close he is to success, and what his thought process is every step of the way.

in the many transformers action sequences, there is never any sense of win or loss that we can gain visually. we can only tell that something bad has happened because we've suddenly gone into slow motion, and the music got sad. we're not seeing anything affect anyone, we're having the beats spoonfed to us. on top of that, both the good robots and bad robots look nearly identical while fighting, and the character design also makes it impossible to tell what's an arm, a leg, a head - they are the turds rolled in staples.

i actually found myself having trouble staying awake during the climactic battle. i'd given up trying to follow it. it was all pitched at the same level, with no variation, and eventually, just became noise.

and my god, all it needed was a little clarity of vision, and clarity of story.

the disgruntled transformers crewperson who wrote this poem for the wrap party knew the damage they had wrought.

thank god for ratatouille, which is maybe the best pixar film, certainly the best film i've seen this year, and comes damn close to being a perfect film in its own right.

every time we see a movie, we vote with our dollars. we say "i want to see more of this." and the beauty of the movies is that the turd sandwich and the filet mignon cost exactly the same. and yeah, i get that you'll want to see transformers anyway, for the effects.. but that's what bittorrent is for. download that puppy, as protest.

fuck michael bay, and please, order more filet.

check it out here!

give us high star ratings!

i'll put the film up on youtube after the 18th.

so my dad's short screenplay, "adobo," has been chosen as one of the top two winners of the boulder asian film festival's short screenplay competition! he gets a cash prize, and may be chosen to be produced in time to premiere at next year's festival.

it's pretty much confirmed that they've cast patrick wilson as dr. manhattan in the upcoming 'watchmen' movie, which is great, he'll look great. but i still think it should be daniel craig:




"watchmen" is the "citizen kane" of comic books/graphic novels. there's no way it can reasonably be condensed into a 2 hour movie, but i hope that the film stays true to the book's central core.

i've been doing a lot of freelance design work for a tour bus company in hollywood. if you ever visit hollywood & highland, you -will- have one of my brochures thrust into your hands as you walk by.

the screening date for "thanksgiving" has been announced! it will play at the philadelphia gay and lesbian film festival on wednesday, july 18th, at 9:30 pm. unfortunately, i won't be able to attend :( july is just too damned busy a month. i will premiere "thanksgiving" on the web at the same time.


the musical parody of 'silence of the lambs' is moving off-broadway! and along with it goes one of my very favorite poster designs. i'm hoping this puppy (literally haha.) is plastered all over town.

i'm now in the second month of my new job. i haven't written anything about it because i'm mostly still figuring out what's happening, how things function, what's expected of me, and what the shape of my life might be now that i'm putting actual effort into what i do to make money.

to get to work, i drive along the ocean every day, then through the winding hills of topanga canyon. gone is the highway to hollywood i commuted twice a day, working for overgrown, insanely rich children. now, once i enter the canyon, the car goes silent, unable to pick up radio stations, and becomes my meditation, my time to assess both the day to come and the day gone by.

i've never cared before, never really cared about my job. it's a new feeling that i'm just now getting used to. my entire post-college life, i brought deep secrets into the office with me each day: "i am not one of you." "i will not get sucked into your world." "i will not get comfortable here." "i will be friends with none of you." i spent my days as an automaton, doing the bare minimum, getting through it, then going home to work until 1 or 2am on the theatre company.

for years it worked, and it worked because i had superhero energy, enough to sustain two lives, one sitting in stillness dreaming of a different life, and the other desperately trying to muster the energy to make that dreamed-of life happen.

and now, finally, though i'm working in what has been described as 'a ghetto cable sweatshop,' it is more in line with my dreams than any other steady job i've had. i can finally see the steps up mazlow's pyramid.

it's tough sometimes. having had jobsite ambivalence for so long, it's a given that caring means the rewards will be exponentially greater, but it also means that when you fuck up, it cuts with proportional depth.

as for the job, i'm learning so much. i create episode concepts, scout participants and locations, write episode outlines, organize shooting days; i'm even beginning to direct some of the shoots. i'm involved in each piece of the show, down to steaming wrinkles out of the host's dress.

i'm learning to feel at home on set, which is a good thing, because i'm planning to spend a good portion of my life there.

driving to work each day, ocean to my left, mountains to my right, i remind myself to be thankful for all of this, for everyone who has put faith in me, who has helped me along the path. i think back to the open road that faced me as i left new york, the courage it took to drive it, and the rewards reaped for traversing it. though i've reached one destination, the road continues on, each leg harder than the last. if i intend to face my life with bravery rather than complacency, it means making the hard choices, it means it shouldn't get easier, ever. i must continue to do what scares me.