the awesome/terrifying freedom

out here, somewhere, figuring it all out.

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okay, so i've been horribly neglectful of my blog. it's been a difficult time to sit down and distill my thoughts and feelings into short paragraphs - oy, so much has been going on, but now things are looking to settle a bit.

clay aiken's face is plastered all over new york, promoting his album 'measure of a man.' snicker snicker. it's almost too much now. boy wants to know how to measure a man? well, i'm sure he knows quite well that it's best to start from the base of the penis.

last friday i turned 28. twenty fuckin eight. and i sit behind a desk making less money than marissa who sits in the neighboring cubicle and who just turned 24. what the hell am i doing? am i just insane for trying to pursue something that will never, no matter how far or high i climb, be stable?

in good news, i've recently signed wth an agent! hopefully this will signal the end of (or at least a hiatus to) the bored office temp days. in the same week, i was up for one of the lead roles in a broadway show. three callbacks, the last of which was horribly intense. these guys i was up against were serious business. it was a wake up call. do i have the time, interest, and energy to compete at this level? i just don't know.

liza and david.

i guess i'm hitting that age where time suddenly seems to speed up, where the path of my life seems visible in the distance, where the choices seem to narrow, where it becomes more and more difficult to switch tracks. part of that is comforting - that i'm working with a theatre company, that i've achieved certain steps towards an acting career - but the sitting in a cubicle part doesn't sit well with me. how much longer can i do this? surely i possess more valuable skills? don't i? don't i?

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  • 5: the man of genius

  • 4: blunders & absurdities

  • 3: conservative after dinner

  • 2: what lies below

  • 1: where there is no path

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