the awesome/terrifying freedom

out here, somewhere, figuring it all out.

reemergence is imminent

i've been working my ass off, producing this show. you have no idea. if you live in nyc, and you're gay, you better come, because i think you'll really like it. because there are some very cute boys. and because it's a really fun play. i'm producin' y'all.



my secret past

i used to be this kid.

i was a rope skipping prodigy. i held two world records in speed and consecutive double unders for my 6th grade age group. i was on tv, competing against the fastest skippers in the world for the 30 second world record in speed skipping. i was a member of the skip-its. i travelled around the world competing and teaching workshops. for some strange reason, i had a knack for it. and i was seriously conflicted about quitting it to do theatre, knowing that there was a good chance rope skipping might be a demonstration sport in the seoul olympics, and that if i stayed with it, i'd likely go.

it's probably the strangest part of my past - something that so consumed my elementary life, and yet i often completely forget that i was ever that person.

part of it used to be the intense shame i felt at being athletic, yes, and exceptional at something that was, next to synchronized swimming, the girliest sport ever.

and when i gave it up for theatre (something even girlier) i threw away all my medals and ribbons and didn't pick up a rope again until just this past year where i occasionally do 'jump rope jam' at new york sports club and irritate the instructor by showing off.

is it just her?

in a way, it's not just her.

but. she is the only person i know who must speak her every thought process out loud. so in that case, it is just her.

not everyone has a perfect relationship with the color printer.

lord knows it does not always take from the correct tray.

or the paper type is not set right.

but i'm capable of figuring these things out and then fixing them.

i don't need to tell the office, and then tell the office how i fixed it.

it is just her.

to guru:

my guess is that joseph murena put mario's hand in his pants the night before he was kicked off. those were some stretchy jeans..


you can draw me in on one of those light light yellow squares in brooklyn. thank you mcdonald's dollar menu. i'd starve without you.

the new sexually ambiguious non-winner of american idol? who makes fun of his sexual amibiguity on television? did you see him do the top ten list on letterman? his list:

10: "Well, for starters, I was really, really drunk."

9: "I've got my eye on the ultimate prize: 'Belgium Idol.' "

8: "Yeah, my career's over, but I just saved a bundle on my car insurance."

7: "After seeing Michael Jackson, maybe I don't want to be a pop star."

6: "Ryan Seacrest [the host of 'American Idol'] is all hands."

5: "I started liking when Ryan Seacrest was all hands."

4: "Screw it -- I'm quitting this, too."

ah, and he was on regis and kelly, saying that his last job was at vera wang. hello homo. helllloooo. and he's doing more press now than ever before - girl knows how to play her cards. personal issues my ass, it's a big gay stunt to get exposure while escaping the idol contract.

meanwhile, hundreds of web hits looking for 'mario vasquez gay porn.'

why mario vasquez is gay

because his family knew nothing about the 'family reasons' he cited for dropping.

because he wears that hat cocked to one side.

because he was a bitch to me once at 'barrage' on 47th and 9th. oh. wait. sorry, that was jai rodriguez. sorry, i get them mixed up.

because i get him mixed up with jai rodriguez.

so mario, come the hell out to your family already, and use your ten seconds of media time to come out nationally. you got yourself out of the idol contract - which means you don't have to pretend you're 'just sensitive' while singing at shopping malls and then trolling for tricks on every night the way clay aiken does.


british idol will young sings a bossanova version of hey ya.

that's why he left.

so when's that porn gonna surface?

thanks to imovie, i'm now able to realize mine and my best friend max's final vision.. only about 10 years later..

more final visions to be realized in the near future..


click to play AF1

only in new york..

..would your 'big business' twin get on the train and sit across from you.

remember 'big business'? that movie with lily tomlin and bette midler where they play mixed up twins? and one set are the city twins and one set are the country twins? and when they end up in new york city each set of twins is wearing similar clothing but not identical?

yesterday another half asian guy wearing the same jeans, sneakers, similar shoulder bag, scarf, same color shirt and ipod headphones got on and sat across from me. we kept looking at each other like 'wha..? you have the same.. and the shoes..? and the gap bag..? wha..?'

and then my stop came and that was the end of it.

there's a great movie by kieslowski - 'double life of veronique' where a girl on a bus has the same encouter, except she switches souls with her doppleganger. maybe it happened to me?

thinking about 'big business,' it actually makes quite a compelling argument about 'city folk' and 'country folk.' it makes the case that these feelings are genetically programmed, like homosexiness, republicanism and michael jacksonism.

busy busy!

it's gonna be a-may-zing.

been so busy that yesterday was the first day since i started that i forgot to draw cartoon!

now that's busy..

needing hug

there's a thing your body does when it needs a hug, like, really really badly. it's a hollow pang, a deep shiver in your chest, somewhere between guilt and hunger. between the feeling that you've left the faucet on and the feeling you've inadvertently offended someone. it's like going to bed angry, the knot in your chest wants to be pulled free.

i totally missed american idol! i'm so out of the loop, i have no idea what's going on, i have no idea who sucks, who's great, and most importantly, i have no updates to add to the gaydar watch! horrid horrid!

get your gay jersey

search web search me

ah, me
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  • 5: the man of genius

  • 4: blunders & absurdities

  • 3: conservative after dinner

  • 2: what lies below

  • 1: where there is no path

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