the awesome/terrifying freedom

i am not dead!

my blog time and energy has been redirected of late. i have been producing a play. and running a theatre company. and desperately trying to turn my life around.

boy nothing's sexier than desperation huh? i've been thinking a lot about money. and what a sham the university system can be, specifically the student loan system - it works great if you're in school to get yourself a 9-5 job that you plan to stay in for the rest of your life, that will come with progressive raises and promotions - but if you're an artist, well, there ain't no sure thing. and paying off the very loan that gave you the education you thought you needed to have a career will likely be the very thing to keep you from pursuing that dream.

the worst part about feeling that you are on a downswing is the wondering 'is this the end of it? is there yet another part of my life that can fall apart?' and the sad truth is that as long as you're still able to wonder if it can get worse, it can. there's always an extremity to lose in a freak accident. there's always a disease to get. i suppose i'm due for a downswing - last year was a gret year professionally, personally, and financially - i guess it's time for all of those things to fall apart for a bit, which is painful now, but i'm grateful for the necessary change it will bring about. like setting my own forest fire to kill the over-growth.

what did people call these situations before joseph heller?

so i've dedicated myself to having it both ways. and maybe i'll tear myself in half doing it, or maybe i'll turn myself into the gay tony robbins, but the last few weeks have placed me on the edge of a precipice where i'll either have to fall or fly.

if you are in the new york city area, i encourage you to support the fruit of my labor - tobacco bar theatre company.

next thursday we open 'downloaded - and in denial' at the kraine theatre - a one-woman tour-de-force starring cynthia adler, one of the top voice over actresses in the country. you've heard her. you don't know you've heard her, but you've heard her. and the show is directed by tony award-winning broadway director robert kalfin. check it out!

be back soon..