the awesome/terrifying freedom

i have a fan who suggests that i find jesus.

he's very nice about it.

and it's not a bad suggestion, really. my mother would be ecstatic.

but for me to find jesus would be rather like me finding pussy.

i'd look at it for a moment and go: 'oh. well now. there it is. don't think i'll go in there, thanks.'

and i sort of realize that when one has a blog as an outlet for personal frustration, the readers of said blog start to think of the author as a very frustrated and unhappy guy. this is not the case. well, okay maybe it's partially the case, but i've always found it difficult to express myself when i'm truly, really, actually, definitively and with all certainty - happy.

so i'm gonna work on that a bit.