the awesome/terrifying freedom

i'm trying to find the verbatim dialogue, but this is how i remember my favorite scene from this week's six feet.

sarah says to claire: maybe you're not an artist.

pause.

claire: (indignantly) what? how could you even say something like that?

sarah: yeah, maybe you're not. if you were really an artist, you would have laughed. like if you told me, 'you're purple.' i'd laugh, because i know i'm not purple. but because you got so upset, it means there's a grain of truth in that.

and in what i think is the most heartbreaking turn this season, claire goes to temp in an office. her gallery glory short-lived and over, she retreats to the world of business casual requisition stapling. and we can see that despite drab coworkers, it is quite possible that she may end up there forever. ruth makes her promise she will become the person she wants to be, and claire half-heartedly agrees and hugs her. it was hard to watch. and unavoidable that i try to apply the laugh test to myself. if someone suggested 'maybe you're not an actor,' or 'maybe you're not an artist,' how would i react? would i laugh, would i get upset, or would i agree?


on the artist part, i'm happy to say that i would laugh, or at least be nonplussed. but at this point, with the actor part, i think i would almost agree. it's not quite true, but it's also not quite false. agreeing is worse than getting upset. at least claire still cares enough about what she wants to do and be to get upset over it. and of course it is a different situation having the person who nurtured your artistic talents in the first place tell you that you may not be an artist after all. if one of my mentors said it to me, i would be pretty hurt.

it's interesting that they chose to make claire's new business suit purple..