the awesome/terrifying freedom

i'm so excited i get to watch american idol tonight for the first time in forever.

i was able to catch up on 'the apprentice' on cnbc last night, which was great. tammy. wow. what i love about this show is how these difficult personalities have no concept of how they are being difficult. classic bad-boss behavior. and then when they get fired they think that the team 'turned' on them, not realizing that the team was against them from the beginning. it's scary to watch someone so out of touch with how they present themselves in the world. makes one hope they don't do the same thing. and i wonder, when tammy watches the show, will she say 'well, they edited it to make me look bad.' or will she say 'wow. i never realized how totally, excruciatingly annoying i am, and how terrible i am at working with other people.' and then it makes me question my own behavior in workplace situations. the creepy thing about delusion is that there's no way of knowing if you're in it.

america's next top model tonight too.. wow it's tv heaven.

so the finale of sex and the city was great. i was personally hoping that carrie would end up with no one, but i'll take an ambiguous open-ended 'i'll try things with big again' ending. it felt like a wrap-up, but wasn't a wrap up.. you understood their lives would continue.. bravo hbo.

gay marriage gay marriage gay marriage. the constitution? san francisco.. this is all amazing and kind of scary. the gates are being pushed open.. is this going to be a win or lose, all or nothing battle? andrew sullivan makes a good point on his website that the proposed amendment to the constitution will not only wipe out the possiblity of marriage, it is quite deliberately vague enough to include a strike down of all forms of same sex unions (although the drafters of the amendment deny this). with the recent sodomy ruling on the basis that you can't discriminate against an entire class of people, i can't imagine how something like this would ever be ratified. but after amendment 2 became law in colorado, i can also see how it may take an awful sept backward to mobilize people to finally fight for their rights and take those two steps forward.

but the constitution? come. on. are we really that threatening?