the awesome/terrifying freedom

i watched 'wb superstar' last night and fear that i will have to adopt puppies or send checks to maylasian children in order to get my soul back.

it's television of cruelty, and boy does it sting. it hurts to see these poor, poor gay teenagers trying to get through their awkward stages, paraded in front of a national audience, teased with a dream of not only greatness, but worse - acceptance, only to have it dashed against the rocks like lady macbeth baby brains.

it's one thing to laugh at what tina fey calls 'gay delusion' when those kids are summarily shot down by simon on 'american idol,' and another thing to tell them that they are amazing. it's the kind of practical joke that, left to its own devices could actually lead one of these kids to suicide. it's fine to torment grown men and women in reality shows (surprise - he's poor! surprise - she's a man!) but to do it to gay teenagers who are clearly so fragile already is upsetting. and maybe i'm just so sensitive to this because i was (and still am) a skinny, delusional homo who would easily fall into that trap. just watch - it's too soon now, but in a few years 'suicide idol' will be the big hit show: 'who do you hate the most?! only your votes will drive them to do the deed!!!'

happy news of the day:

the weather is great and i'm going to sleep in the sun during my lunch break.

i reenter the world of auditioning on thursday.

there is more porn on my ipod than music.