the awesome/terrifying freedom

i went back to the apple store thursday just to hang out, and as i was heading home, there was a guy standing in front of me at the crosswalk. i thought 'wow, that guy has a great back.' he was about 5'7 -5'8, and had a perfect haircut with teeny tiny gray hairs poking out. you know how you can just tell, seeing someone from behind, that they're gonna be smoking hot when they turn around? that was this guy.

and he turned like 3/4, looking over to the side, and i saw one of his perfect perfect ice blue eyes. i didn't see his whole face, but i gasped with a suspicion of who he might be.. and as soon as i heard him speaking some eastern european language, i knew. dear god, it was lukas ridgeston.

what, you say? you don't know who lukas ridgeston is? then you are not a gay man. and that's not to be cute or facetious, i mean really, you're just not a gay man. lukas is an international celebrity of tom cruise caliber among gay men only.

and that's because he'a porn star.

not just any porn star, a huuge porn star. lukas was actually my first porn crush. about my age, devastatingly gorgeous, and, um, talented, he was the original star of bel ami studios - whose films play like an abercrombie catalog's id: gay undertones be damned, these clean cut athletic guys in college-boy gear go all the way.

anyway. i should have said something. 'hi,' anything, but i was stunned. the years look good on him. he's still perfect.