the awesome/terrifying freedom

oh yes john, i'm vomiting already.

jane clayson: jessie, thanks so much for joining us today on cbs! did you get the birthday card i sent you?

jessica lynch: uh yeah.

clayson: taurus pride! woo! so how are you holding up?

lynch: fine.

clayson: wonderful to hear! and after all you've been through: the attack, the shooting, the torture, the rescue..

lynch: yeah. well, i really only had a few fractures, and a cut on my head.

clayson: and stabbed! you were stabbed, too!

lynch: no.

clayson: tell me, jessie, i can call you jessie, can't i? jessie, what did it feel like to get shot fifteen times?

lynch: i didn't get shot, i was injured when the/

clayson: one of your fellow officers says you were 'fighting to the death,' and 'you didn't want to be taken alive.'

lynch: i was sort of pinned under a jeep.

clayson: and still fighting!

lynch: not really.

clayson: and what was it like being gang raped by all those greasy muslims?

lynch: i was taken to a hospital and given the best care. i became friends with the entire staff. i was assigned one of two nurses on duty, her name is shinah. she was wonderful. she brought her children to meet me, she/

clayson: horrifying. truly horrifying. and bringing their children into it! (to the cameraman) can we get a close up of her scar?

lynch: that's a birthmark.

clayson: such a shame. tell me about your daring rescue.

lynch: well, the hospital staff put me in one of their vans, and tried to return me to the american base camp. but once they got close, our vehicle was fired upon and they had to turn back/

(clayson puts her hand on jessie's shoulder)

clayson: jessie, i know it's hard to let go of the tortures you faced, but let's focus on your rescue.

lynch: i am. are you referring to the u.s. soldiers who broke down the hospital doors even though they were unlocked? who shot at unarmed hospital staff? who/

clayson: jessie, thank you so much for joining us today!

lynch: sure.

clayson: (to dan rather) there you have it dan. a beautiful young woman. raped, tortured, stabbed, one report says 'kicked in the boob.' and clearly brainwashed. we suspect electroshock methods.

rather: tragic. she still has a long road to recovery.

clayson: oh yes, dan. psychologists have no doubt that she'll regain her memory once she sees beauty under fire, the cbs movie of the week based on her story, coming out next friday 8pm eastern, 7 central. lynch will be played by shawnee smith of the cbs smash hit becker! (sundays, 8pm eastern). tomorrow she'll be hosting MTV's (a cbs viacom property) 100 best videos with explosions and on wednesday, VH1's (another viacom property) 100 best 80's videos with explosions followed by jessie's dance party and jessica's 'the grind'. simon & schuster (viacom property) will publish her 'auto'biography! a 'mash' style sitcom on the upn (50% viacom property) network coming soon! baby jessie to premiere on nickelodeon (yep, viacom) this fall! all jessica lynch media will be exclusively available at blockbuster (you guessed it, viacom) video! ride the 'iraqi-terror coaster' at parmount carowinds (do i even have to say? okay, viacom!) theme park!