the awesome/terrifying freedom

the subways have been overrun with posters for 'american wedding.' this film is being billed as 'the thrilling conclusion of the 'american pie' saga.' wow. i can't wait to find out what happens. this saga will live on in history along with 'porky's' and 'the oresteia.' i hope it's not the last 'pie' movie. there are so many other places they can go: 'american pot pie: the sexually starved married years,' 'american hair pie: the lesbian daughter who's not hot.' 'american pi: an unhealthy obsession with math.' as long as seann william scott can make the 'no wayy' face and as long as jason biggs can't get any other jobs, you can bet we haven't seen the last of the pie. i can't wait to see this new movie though. i'm dying to see which new body fluid they're going to ingest! maybe they'll break with expectation and go with poo eating. we haven't seen a good poo eating on film since 'pink flamingoes.' c'mon jason biggs, grab your knife and fork and have at it!

speaking of poo eating, i was eating a 'baked lays' potato chip and noticed that these chips are made of a processed paste material pressed into a mold. if you look at an unbroken chip, you will notice that all the unbroken chips are the exact same shape, and you will see a very fine seam running down the middle - evidence of the mold. i'm not outraged or anything (dammit! i thought i was eating a real chip!) but it's fascinating how far someone will go to make an artificial paste look and taste like a chip. this thing went through committees ('jim, i think we need to give it a little wave in the middle') and panels (no marge, it needs more yelow food color), and tests (karen and her team have found that midwesterners enjoy the small notches on either end!).