the awesome/terrifying freedom

freddy prinze jr. has carson kressley hair in scooby doo 2.

really, i'm serious. he does. it flips out like 'that girl.'

john says fantasia is the next american idol.

i can't comment because i have yet to see fantasia.

but latoya is no 'one trick pony.'

how dare you lump her into the category of kymberly caldwell!!

latoya is everything tamyra wanted to be: not just kick ass, but genuine.

ereka is kicked off the apprentice. dammit. i want to see omirosa go so badly.

is there a rule that in order to appear in reality tv you must have an unconventional spelling for your conventional name? ereka? kymberley?

when i'm on the david geffen version of the apprentice i'll be goe. or ghoe. or dzoe.

latoya london is the next american idol. granted, i haven't seen anyone else - save for the other people who went on tuesday, but c'mon. she's the only one who brought back that excitement - that kelly clarkson excitement, that tamyra singing 'a house is not a home' excitement. let's just hope she doesn't have a past in porn.

thanks john, for the okcupid test. a pretty good analysis of my fuckedupedness. try it!

i am:

The Bachelor
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master (DGSMm)

Straight-up. Studly. Congratulations, you are The Bachelor.

You're an honest, good-thinking guy, and though you're very sexually active, people don't perceive you as a male-slut or man-whore or guy-dick-putter-inner or whatever. You have a sterling reputation.

You're a careful person, perhaps too much so for your friends' tastes, but guys like that in you. You probably don't kiss & tell. And you definitely don't brag. You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's as if you believe in monogamy, so long as it's with lots of different people.

Our guess is that you've got some kind of word-of-mouth going with the boys out there, and that in the future, your sex partners will get even more plentiful, and more attractive, too.

You will settle down eventually, and make an excellent husband. You seem like the type who is into the idea of making copies of yourself, so you'll probably adopt lots of kids. Bear in mind, meanwhile, this can get expensive.

ALTERNATE ENDING: You will die broke and alone. Vermin will feast on your ragged body for five days before the groundskeeper notices. The thing is, when somebody dies in a public restroom, the natural odor of his decomposing flesh is often masked by the feces smell.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Manchild

CONSIDER: The Bachelor, The Backrubber

i'm so excited i get to watch american idol tonight for the first time in forever.

i was able to catch up on 'the apprentice' on cnbc last night, which was great. tammy. wow. what i love about this show is how these difficult personalities have no concept of how they are being difficult. classic bad-boss behavior. and then when they get fired they think that the team 'turned' on them, not realizing that the team was against them from the beginning. it's scary to watch someone so out of touch with how they present themselves in the world. makes one hope they don't do the same thing. and i wonder, when tammy watches the show, will she say 'well, they edited it to make me look bad.' or will she say 'wow. i never realized how totally, excruciatingly annoying i am, and how terrible i am at working with other people.' and then it makes me question my own behavior in workplace situations. the creepy thing about delusion is that there's no way of knowing if you're in it.

america's next top model tonight too.. wow it's tv heaven.

so the finale of sex and the city was great. i was personally hoping that carrie would end up with no one, but i'll take an ambiguous open-ended 'i'll try things with big again' ending. it felt like a wrap-up, but wasn't a wrap up.. you understood their lives would continue.. bravo hbo.

gay marriage gay marriage gay marriage. the constitution? san francisco.. this is all amazing and kind of scary. the gates are being pushed open.. is this going to be a win or lose, all or nothing battle? andrew sullivan makes a good point on his website that the proposed amendment to the constitution will not only wipe out the possiblity of marriage, it is quite deliberately vague enough to include a strike down of all forms of same sex unions (although the drafters of the amendment deny this). with the recent sodomy ruling on the basis that you can't discriminate against an entire class of people, i can't imagine how something like this would ever be ratified. but after amendment 2 became law in colorado, i can also see how it may take an awful sept backward to mobilize people to finally fight for their rights and take those two steps forward.

but the constitution? come. on. are we really that threatening?

one quarter of homos think we can already get married. sigh.

boy everyone is buzzing about the john kerry intern thing. what i love though, is that, unlike drudge, no major news source is moving on the story until they have some hard facts.

assistants unleash their wrath. yes, bosses everywhere. we exist, we are watching, we are taking notes, and everything you do is screenplay fodder. or blog fodder.

at least until someone in the office discovers the blog.

at which point you have to start writing about clay aiken.

who, by the way was on saturday night live and who spoofed his twinky homo image by appearing in the opening sketch in a lineup of chorus boys backing up uber-faghag megan mullally.

like my WEST coast colleague john, i'm considering the launch of a private blog. it's just too hard to resist dishing the dirt the way i used to. i'm evil.

so i'm in reharesals for a play right now.

i'm also in the casting process for another play that i will begin directing soon.

so not only am i missing the first night of voting on american idol, i'm missing 'america's next top model.'

it's devastating.

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

does 'wardrobe malfunction' include the accidental application of a metal sunburst nipple shield?