the awesome/terrifying freedom

one of my favorite things to do is, while i'm walking down the street on a lovely day, is to lip synch casually to whatever song i'm listening to, imagining that i'm walking toward a camera crew filming me in a music video. you know, like robert downey junior in the video for that elton john song? that's totally me every morning on my way to work. it's awesome. i like to imagine that the crew is tripping over themselves, backing up as i walk toward them, struggling to keep me in frame, the cue card guy running into the makeup girl (we need a cue card guy because i'm way to busy to learn the lyrics beforehand), a lowly techie gets in a fight with a woman pushing a stroller as he trys to clear the way for me and the crew to make it down the street in one uninterrupted take.

have you seen the video for 'everytime,' that whimpering britney spears song? terrible, terrible. i think this song is supposed to be her 'sorry justin' song - and the video certainly rips off portions of the elton john video starring justin - beleagured mega star walks down a hallway in slow motion while being attacked by fans and protected by bodyguards. added into this mix is stephen dorff as an abusive boyfriend type who likes to throw things and yell. it's all very dramatic. britney hurls a vase, then hops in the tub and slits her wrists. fine fine. then we're treated to a bunch of cliche nonsense with an angel britney watching over her own death and simultaneous birth of a baby in the neighboring bed at the hospital. then, in a huge cop-out, britney wakes up in the tub laughing. so wait, what happened to the baby? is the baby dead now? is this the price of having britney around?

though, after the death of britney, a baby being born in the next bed is really not an adequate event to restore equilibrium to the universe. it would have been more appropriate if angel britney walks through the hospital, watching ER workers frantically try to revive her dead doppleganger, then the camera pans over to the next bed where, say, osama bin laden is being captured. angel britney can then give a pouty look to the camera, as if to say 'see? see?' i don't even know exactly what all that would mean, but it would sure be more interesting.