sexual predators at your fingertips
published Monday, August 09, 2004 by j | email this post
i picked up the phone at work today and was greeted by the genteel, neighborly recorded voice of 'melissa.' she said:
hi! my name is melissa, and i'm calling from zipcodealert.com! i'm calling to inform you that there are sexual predators in your area! if you would like to know how many sexual predators are in your area, please press 1 now!
so i pressed 1.
please enter your zip code!
zip code entered.
pause pause pause.
there are _3_ sexual predators in your area! if you would like more information on these predators, including profile and pictures, please go to zipcodealert.com!
and of course her voice changes when she says '3' because of the electronic system, and you can tell that she's been coached to make her voice as friendly as possible to try and counteract the totally impersonal, exploitation-by-fear nature of the whole conceit.
then you go to the website and of course, they are so totally concerned for your safety, or the safety of your kids that you have to pay
for what is actually public domain information. and to pile on this sugary sweet voice that tells you
'good morning! i bet you didn't know that there are three people in your neighborhood just dying to rape your kids! coffee? tea?'
it was like a saturday night live sketch.
sasha baron cohen is a fearless man. he revels in the discomfort of others, sometimes making the ali g show hard to watch, but it's also what makes it riveting. by pretending to be stupid, he's able to coerce statements out of people that they would never otherwise utter. last week he got james broadwater, a congressional candidate in mississippi to state in black and white terms that all jews will go to hell. read his 'defense
', which basically says 'oh, sorry, i didn't mean to say all jews will go to hell. i meant to say all jews will go to hell unless
they accept jesus. see? i'm a friend of israel! vote for me!'