anonymous is right.. 'ethnicity' is not the best word, but it's better than most. it does smack of the 'oriental' problem. maybe 'heritage' is a better way to ask the question? though i'd rather someone ask about my ethnicity than waffle around the question forever, trying not to insult me..
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I prefer almost any phrase to "what are you?" That's like asking someone what kind of dog they have.
"Oh, I'm a straight-haired, mixed breed: Chinese, Danish and Mexican."
"Really, no wonder coat is so shiny and you're so well tempered!"