the awesome/terrifying freedom

..i ran into scott at best buy yesterday. this must be how new york works, that if someone is in your mind, eventually you will cross paths with them. if you google me and find my blog, hi scott :) it was a weird, sad moment. he saw me, i saw him, and instantly he knew i knew, and i knew he knew i knew. i wanted to cry. we hugged so tight. and a lotta old old college memories came rushing back. i asked him how he was and he said he's still here and i said that's good. he didn't look well. the moment, all forty five seconds of it was filled with an intensity, a panging of guilt and sadness and kindness and even a little anger. i told him to call me, that we'd have coffee. he said he would, that he'd like that. i hope he does. we parted ways rather quickly. he left the store. i was so distracted, i pretended to look at camcorders for a few minutes then went outside, breathed in the cold air and went home.