the awesome/terrifying freedom

no more innuendos, no more hints. it's real, and it's out in the open.

i am moving to LA.

i drive away august 1st, in a little blue car.

i am packing up my few possessions and heading west, on a cross-country route that only my whims will guide.

i'm heading out there to find and pursue so many things, and thinking back to just under a year ago, the precise moment that the idea formulated, my dedication to those ideas has not faltered. i wrote:

it's got me tempted to drive away myself. go somewhere else, do something else. we are filled with such potential, so much possiblity for greatness. i feel it in me sometimes and i doubt myself so much that i can feel my own gifts being squashed. why do i not choose to be great more often? because that's all it really is, isn't it? you just have to decide 'this will be the best thing i've ever done,' and if you can really truly make that decision, then that's what it'll be.

i want to create work that can stand with six feet under. i want to write/direct/make things that probe as deeply, that explore what it means to be human, that don't sugar coat, to craft something with exquisite detail, to remember my sense of humor, to find myself, who i really am, what i was meant to do, and to be the best version of myself that i can be.

i'm scared to death about what i might face, what hardships i will encounter, but i know that it's time to stop taking what's given and start making my life happen. and in order for that to occur, i must strip away everything that is familiar, remove all of the crutches. i'm not here for the easy path, which in the past couple years i've learned is not so easy at all. it's filled with regret, cowardice, self loathing, missed opportunity, laziness, and guilt. if i'm going to face obstacles, let them be the ones that enter the path of my choosing, on the road to my goal, not those that amble up to my door because i've been sitting in comfort for so long.

party on july 28th. save the date.