the awesome/terrifying freedom

joshua gracin remains the only remaining 'mckibbin' on american idol. although trenyce is walking the line.

trenyce is a teddy ruxpin. pop a tape of your favorite hit into her back and she comes out with a strangely mechanical re-creation of a performance. it's like she's at a party, doing an imitation of herself for anecdotal purposes. except no one laughs at the end. so she says 'i guess you had to be there,' which is an excuse.

anytime someone says 'i guess you had to be there' a fun thing to say back is 'no, i guess you just need to learn how to tell a story.' that always makes friends.

so we're left with kimberley locke, ruben studdard, and clay aiken. which is great because no matter who wins, none of them fit the conventional pop star mold. clay especially because he's gay kids, he's gay!

the big question, and probably the questionthat brough you to this website is 'is clay aiken gay?' a better question is 'does clay aiken even know he's gay?' i think the answer to both is a solid yes. he may look conflicted, but i think his only conflict is figuring out which magazine will get his exclusive coming out interview. 'the advocate' is so jim verraros. he needs to think bigger. i guess it depends on if he wins. if he wins then it will be in 'time.' if he loses, it'll be in 'hx.'

so, time for gay american idol babble. a friend pointed out that clay aiken is beginning to resemble the gelflings from 'the dark crystal.' i guess that makes paula one of the skeksis. and ryan seacrest a pod person.

simon is playing america. he knows that if he starts slamming carmen rasmussen she will get sympathy votes. that girl is all about sympathy votes. she's the secret bitch little sister who was always prettier than you and who your parents love more than you and all she has to do is bat her eyelashes (like clay) and make her lips only slightly more pouty than they are normally and then she gets whatever she wants. don't give in, america. i implore you. do not give in. remember your bitch little sister. give her that open handed smack you've always wanted to. don't vote for her!

josh is a cocky, white, fat, blandly mediocre and blindly nationalistic good ol' boy. did he come from the same trailer park as niki mckibbin? did he train at her karaoke bar? what is going on here? what is this lump doing in the top ten? is it because he's a marine? that is so frustrating. why didn't they ship him off to iraq? although if they had shipped him off we would have been subjected to another pointless 'surprise' week where they pretend that the votes count and then don't kick anyone off.

due to complaints from gladd, the gay jokes have come to a stop on 'american idol.' but no cease and desist order could wipe out the sexual tension between clay aiken and ryan seacrest. did you see them last night? ryan asked clay what his inspiration was for his new hairstyle and there was a long pause while they looked into each other's eyes..

i'm so totally done with joshua. there was a brief moment when he had the whole 98 degrees teenage girl smarm thing going on, but it was short-lived. his country voice sounds like shit - and that's not even because i hate country, i mean, his country voice sounds like shit even for a country voice. he's always pointing at the ground, as if to say 'i'm standing here. i'm singing here. this spot? singing here. oh and don't forget that i'm singing here.' and that face he makes. god, far worse than clay's habitual 'please ryan don't shoot any of that in my eye like you did last time' twitch.

it's rainy as all hell and my pants are still wet from the walk over from the subway. rrgh. i hate weather.

ricky smith was ejected from 'idol' this week, thank god. he bugs. i'm sick of his schtick. i missed the show this week, but i do not doubt that clay aiken once again waved a broken wristed 'hello' to all of america. why don't they let these kids come out of the closet? all those little girls with 'aiken for clay' shirts deserve to know that while he may play with your easy bake oven, he won't play with your sleazy cake muffin.