the awesome/terrifying freedom

six feet under is the greatest show on television, and that is that. after having read seriously mixed reviews of last night's premiere, i was prepared for a rocky start, which is to say that i was completely unprepared for an exceedingly strong episode that had me emotionally on-edge and disturbed - as all good art should. it looks as though the show undergoes a big shift in tone in next week's episode, and according to interviews with alan ball, the entire season will play a little lighter than last year - so we'll see how that goes. i have great faith in the creative team, though. they have had a few bumps along the way, but nothing even comparable to the bumps that plagued 'oz,' 'sex and the city,' 'carnivale,' that continue to plague 'deadwood;' and even struck down 'angels in america.'

there's now an 'hbo-ness' about many of these shows (mostly deadwood, carnivale and angels): a great deal of skill and artistry poured into a beautiful, intelligently drawn product that ultimately allows you to feel nothing. which really, if that's the worst hbo can do, is still quite a compliment. 'six feet under' remains separate somehow - so truthful and accessible i think through its humor. 'deadwood's' attempts at humor fall horribly flat, and 'carnivale' didn't even try. let's hope they do better the next time around. the best thing about a show should not be its opening credit sequence.

in other news, i went to my first audition in forever, only to be turned away because i didn't get there early for a slot. which is fine, because what matters more than actually audiioning is the fact that i took the time off work, got myself out of bed, prepared, and got my ass out there to do it. makes it much easier to do it again in the coming weeks.

the tony awards were a weird kind of awakening - that my generation is starting to take over. for so long everyone winning awards seemed older than me, which was really comforting in a way. but now, it's very strange to see your peers up there at the podium, amazed, shocked, speechless. it's a double edged sword; one side says 'boy you are geting old. i imagine you've got two maybe three more good years left in you before you should just give up and leave the tough stuff to people who are really cut out for it.' and the other side says 'see! it's not impossible! they did it! dreams can come true! all this could be yours!'