the awesome/terrifying freedom

have you seen this star wars fan film? it's amazing. i mean, produced in a garage over 3 years by devoted geeks, it's actually comparable to the prequel films in look, style, and (ahem) acting.

lucas was right about digital technology - that it would open up the world of filmmaking to everyone, that we all have the tools now to make the filmic great american novel. and we can see that, just like writing, a huge budget doesn't improve your ability to string a story together.

episode 3 is gonna suck ya'll. i dunno how anyone can think that it'll be a good film. hel-low eps 1 and 2 sucked. you think he suddenly learned how to make a movie?

in this movie:

i have a proposal scene
most of my scenes are in the bedroom
i am 'ridden hard' by the lead actress

i can't fucking wait.

is a fucking genius

i'm playing andrew in the film 'fetish in wonderland,' shooting this summer.

woohoo!

perfect to use when paying your gay.com and seancody.com memberships.

so i had an audition last night for a pretty good part in an indie film, which if i get, would mean i'll be shooting two films this summer! woohoo!

it went really well, though i did get the note:

"that was really great joe, can you do it again, but this time try being a little more butch."

and that confirmed it. i am a floppy wristed lisping ascot wearing pansy boy.

i still think i'll get the part. finding out friday..

check out how it looked in the paper.. the picture is huge!

anonymous from boulder: you will lose weight on the $ menu diet if you limit yourself to spending only $10/week. and one bowl of apple jacks for dinner. it's possible. it's not fun, but possible.

addendum to anonymous: a little scotch tape on the eyes will do the trick.

since i've been eating only these things for three months now, my body is composed entirely of the "nutrients" to be found in:



and



and




i lost 15 lbs. can't wait to like, eat again. eat food i mean.

creepy old lady: look at you! oh just look at you. you are so handsome. i just love the chinese.

me: um.

creepy old lady: i havva chinese eye doctor, chinese glasses, my pediatrist is chinese, i just love the chinese. such good people, your people, such good people. oh i just love the chinese.

me: well.

creepy old lady: i go down to chinatown all the time, because i love them so much. so simple, those chinese people. not complicated like me and her (points to white lady smoking a cigarette outside the theatre). love the chinese!

me: i'm not chinese.

pause.

creepy old lady: well what on earth are you then? i'm dying to know!

me: i'm half philippino and/

creepy old lady: PHILIPPINO! ohhhhh.. of course. i love your brothers and sisters too, i do! so many of them work down at the fish market! have you been to the fish market?

me: no.

creepy old lady: oh it's wonderful, the biggest fish market in the world, it is. you should go. oh i just love your people. your phillipino people.

dudes.

is my life about to change?

the new york fucking times has given my show, GOLDEN AGE - the show that i have broken my back and pocketbook and sanity for - a fucking RAVE review, and mentions my theatre company, tobacco bar theatre company, by name. i could cry. i mean, i did cry. we're on the map ya'll.

you can't work yourself to the bone and not expect to age. it's happening, finally, i mean, really, it is. i can see it now. because my mom was still being mistaken for 18 at 40, i used to think that i'd be able to get away with the same shit. no such luck. all the little lines that have always been there are just a hair deeper, the grey in my hair more pronounced. maybe it's not enough for anyone else to really notice, (it probably is, though when you bring it up, friends are too nice to tell you you're looking ragged) but to me, who's looked at my face in mirror every day of my life, the changes are apparent. the shift is beginning, and things that once used to have no effect on me - like staying up all night, now have disastrous visible consequences. i have to like, start taking care of myself and shit. maybe i just need sleep and sun and moisturizer. and sex. and money. and stability. and sex.

if you don't believe me, i'll post some really crappy pictures of myself. there's a lot lately!

emily has returned from paris with another contender for 'the tackiest gift in the world contest.'

behold:



commando in action.



sorry ladies, for men only.



it's so disturbing. and it smells like those thingys you hang from the rear view mirror in your car.

show opened and is going great!

check out this rave!

oh and. max was in town this weekend. we made another movie.
checkit.