the awesome/terrifying freedom

is it me or has it been the most beautiful week in the history of new york augusts?

but really i've been having such a great week that it could be storming and the city could drop into the ocean and i wouldn't notice.

the show i'm in opened on monday, and though it was a sold out crowd and was well received, i left feeling very depressed. i have the horrible responsibility of telling the first jokes of the play. essentially, after i speak, it is immediately determined whether or not the other actors in the play will have to rescue the show, or ride the wave. monday night i was covered in flop sweat, each successive joke plopping atop the other, my face shining, dark wet sweat stains spreading from my armpits - and everyone else on stage having a gay old time, dry as an arizona desert. and the whole time i'm repeating to myself 'stay calm. have fun dammit! have fun! it's easy, see? it's funny, right? HAVE FUN!' and all the effort only makes it worse, like trying to yank out of a chinese finger trap.

the next night my co-star and i worked on the opening scene some more and found inherent problems in our initial approach. in addition to that, the failure of the night before had cauterized me - it could never be that bad again, and i was actually able to have fun with it. what a relief. the show went great, and equilibrium was restored to the universe (i like that phrase).

the fountain at city hall park last night..