the awesome/terrifying freedom

i just want to take a quick moment to say a special thank you to azureus and bittorrent for making it possible for me to learn final cut pro, soundtrack pro, dvd studio pro, adobe after effects, and soon, motion. currently boning up for the soundtrack pro certification. the tutorial is so awesome.. learning to mix sound for suspense scenes and movie trailers..

there's a billboard for charles schwab i pass every day. it says 'wow. i'm 50,' and it freaks the hell out of me. i'm gonna wake up tomorrow saying those words. will i still be working for spoiled rich kids, looking for a break? or will i actually be out here, doing what i hope to be doing by the time i'm 50, which is making movies, making cool stuff with cool people? i know already that i'm never, ever going to retire. i may vacation, but the brain never retires.

i have to keep reminding myself why i moved here, why i made this huge, terrifying jump. i especially have to remind myself in those moments where i begin to feel comfortable, settled in - that the reason i'm here is because of the extreme discomfort and dissatisfaction i felt in new york. that i'm here because i want to put my energy in creative places that excite me.

aside from getting certified in all of the above programs, i have the usual litany of pending projects:

• finish editing requiem #6
• plan out and shoot the remaining requiem movies
• work with neal to complete a disastrously brilliant screenplay version of 'second.'
• shoot 'second.'
• get accepted to sundance
• become the next darren aronovsky.

that's all!