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so i'm going to talk about something that has always bothered me, but i recently had another run in and it just drives me crazy. over the weekend i went to see the remastered, very slightly tinkered with, brilliant director's cut of 'alien.' in fact i went to see it twice - not by design, i just happened to be with two groups of friends on separate nights who each wanted to see it. it's one of my favorites so i didn't object.

the first viewing was in union square on halloween night. the audience was quiet, appreciative, and was wrapped up the story. i was amazed at how well it has held up, and felt it was a testament to the uselessness of computer generated monsters in our current 'thrillers.'

the second viewing was in brooklyn heights - what is commonly known as 'the black theatre.' now there are some films i love to see at the black theatre - 'there's something about mary,' any of the 'scary movie' films, 'spiderman.' but not, defintely NOT 'alien.'

'alien' executes a masterful use of suspenseful silence. long tracking shots that move through empty hallways.. it also provides plenty of down time for people to yell at the screen, take phone calls, walk in and out of the theatre, have conversations and then occasionally check back in with the film to see if the white bitch is dead yet.

now i'm torn. i knew what i was in for. i knew i was going to the black theatre. part of me just has to accept that, culturally, this is the way a film is viewed in this neighborhood. this is the norm. the viewing experience that the majority of this audience paid for is not the same as the experience i paid for. they paid for a party. i paid for a movie. for me to ask them to be quiet is viewed by them as just as much of an infringement of their enjoyment of the film as their talking is to mine. tough situation.

i never really had to deal with this overwhelming cultural difference until i moved to new york - in colorado the problem would usually be one unruly drunk, or a small, isolated group of kids. it was quite easy to do the 'turn around,' give them the evil eye, and actually have it work!

when i'm in a theatre with an annoying audience i leave feeling totally powerless. i want to see the movie - and spend the duration of the film debating whether or not it's worth missing part of the film in order to tell management, or if asking someone to be quiet will actually make it worse.

during 'alien' a woman in the front stood up and yelled to the back rows 'please be quiet! shut up!' i'm sure you can imagine the pure icy fear she sent through their spines.

'bitch don' be yellin at me! you shut up!,' 'shut yo' ass, ho!,' and 'i'ma gon' make you shut up, white bitch!'

sigourney weaver was also repeatedly referred to as 'white bitch,' 'stupid white bitch' and 'no-ass white bitch.'

i guess for the audience, sigourney weaver was a representation of ass-less white america's attempt to exterminate the large, ebony-phallused 'alien' population. see, that's what i love about 'alien.' it works on so many levels.


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